<WORLD>
<HAPPENINGS><EVENT id="346474065">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315789</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_18@@, citizens insist that there's no law against standing downwind when marijuana crops are burned off.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474064">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315789</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@alexland_armed_forces@@, interviewees for teaching jobs are waterboarded to &quot;reveal undesirable histories&quot;.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474063">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315789</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@tidal_magic_sfs@@, oil executives can be seen reluctantly cleaning oil-soaked birds.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474062">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315789</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_18@@, the mentally ill are given high powered automatic weapons for &quot;catharsis therapy&quot;.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474061">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315786</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@milan_italy@@, politicians accepting drinks in bars are executed for taking bribes.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474060">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315785</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@alexland_armed_forces@@, coffee cups have grown in size to accommodate the huge ingredients list.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474059">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315783</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@milan_italy@@, Leader's family members carry literal get-out-of-jail-free cards.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474058">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315783</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@pyro_magic_sfs@@, society and government have been organized according to a feudal hierarchy.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474057">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315782</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@ostduckiyar@@, the recital of citations that follows any political speech can be longer than the speech itself.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474056">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315782</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_17@@, clerics are taught that silence is golden and duct tape is silver.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474055">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315782</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@alexland_armed_forces@@, beating enemies to death with a baseball bat is legal if done within nine innings.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474054">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315782</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_17@@, thieves claim they're simply working for the tax agency.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474053">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315781</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@eternal_ascendancy@@ lodged <a href="/region=aeternas/page=display_region_rmb?postid=62203473#p62203473">a message</a> on the %%aeternas%% Regional Message Board.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474052">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315781</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@wildthyme_on_top_lxvii@@ applied to join the World Assembly.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474051">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315781</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@pyro_magic_sfs@@, elderly tribespeople die in bed surrounded by loved ones and linguists.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474050">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315781</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@academy_world_56@@, colleges adhere to rigid ethnic quotas for admissions.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474049">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315780</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_16@@, the government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474048">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315779</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_16@@, deceased politicians' MyFace profiles are unanimously pro-incumbent.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474047">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315779</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@the_crusader_kings@@ lodged <a href="/region=united_cities/page=display_region_rmb?postid=62203472#p62203472">a message</a> on the %%united_cities%% Regional Message Board.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474046">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315779</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@milan_italy@@, vets have been drafted in to help &quot;fix&quot; those who fail the parental license exam.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474045">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315779</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@tpose@@, bin lorries have replaced birds as the source of the dawn chorus.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474044">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315779</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@pyro_magic_sfs@@, citizens seem fixated on 105m x 45m rectangles.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474043">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315778</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@wildthyme_on_top_lxvi@@ applied to join the World Assembly.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474042">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315778</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_15@@, the military perceives nations hit by natural disasters as &quot;easy pickings&quot;.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474041">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315778</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@nanoma@@ voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal &quot;The Right to a Lawful Divorce&quot;".]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474040">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315778</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@alexland_armed_forces@@, town welcome signs list corporate sponsors.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474039">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315777</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@cliponta@@ voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal &quot;The Right to a Lawful Divorce&quot;".]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474038">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315777</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_15@@, drill sergeants yell in the ears of bespectacled nerds in cybermilitary &quot;reboot camps&quot;.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474037">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315777</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@academy_world_56@@, every school is receiving a brand new eraser.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474036">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315777</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@pyro_magic_sfs@@, Maxtopian tourists make expensive pilgrimages to Pyro Magic SFS City to enjoy their national art.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474035">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315776</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@reichtangle_the_best@@ lodged <a href="/region=the_east_pacific/page=display_region_rmb?postid=62203471#p62203471">a message</a> on the %%the_east_pacific%% Regional Message Board.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474034">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315776</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_14@@, refugee camp conversions to Cards are increasingly common.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474033">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315775</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@wildthyme_on_top_lxv@@ applied to join the World Assembly.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474032">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315775</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_14@@, citizens simply have to point a weapon at a government official to get what they want.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474031">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315775</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@pyro_magic_sfs@@, every new building project has to undergo a five-year environmental impact study before it can go ahead.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474030">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315774</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@milan_italy@@, pareidolic SETI scientists swear there's a message from aliens hidden within pi.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474029">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315774</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@absalon@@, every week is blindness awareness week.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474028">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315774</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_13@@, scientific ethics are on the chopping block.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474027">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315773</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_13@@, the nation has an international reputation for compassion.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474026">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315772</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_12@@, a baby's first breath is also a baby's first felony.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474025">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315772</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@earth_magic_sfs@@, there is one competing standard.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474024">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315771</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@commonu@@ lodged <a href="/region=umamusume_pretty_derby/page=display_region_rmb?postid=62203470#p62203470">a message</a> on the %%umamusume_pretty_derby%% Regional Message Board.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474023">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315771</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_12@@, former arsonists can be found on local fire brigades.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474022">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315771</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@alexland_armed_forces@@, childish pranks are no laughing matter.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474021">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315770</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_11@@, the military is researching proton packs and PK-meters to combat &quot;unseen enemy forces&quot;.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474020">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315770</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@earth_magic_sfs@@, Leader is too busy listening to praise to get any work done.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474019">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315769</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_11@@, illicit spice trade makes desert merchants wrangling worms blush.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474018">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315768</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_10@@, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474017">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315768</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@the_greys@@ lodged <a href="/region=the_global_elite/page=display_region_rmb?postid=62203469#p62203469">a message</a> on the %%the_global_elite%% Regional Message Board.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474016">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315768</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@earth_magic_sfs@@, Red Cross demand for body bags is rising while sutures go unused.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474015">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315767</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_10@@, saying 'no homo' is enough to escape punishment for the crime of being gay.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474014">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315766</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_9@@, MSN 9 has been recently classified as an international menace after 'liberating' several nearby territories.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474013">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315766</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@earth_magic_sfs@@, serial killers are the country's biggest import.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474012">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315765</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_9@@, the nation threatens sanctions on islands only visible at low tide.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474011">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315764</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_8@@, Pinkerton agents are called in to forcibly break up white collar strikes.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474010">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315764</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@earth_magic_sfs@@, the average video game can be completed over lunch break.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474009">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315764</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_8@@, the nation's streets have become a winter wonderland of salt and sand.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474008">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315762</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_7@@, the urinary fragrance of seedier establishments is thankfully hidden by the smell of stale smoke.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474007">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315762</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_7@@, homebuyers must agree to name their firstborn after the previous owner.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474006">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315761</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@acid_magic_sfs@@, every new building project has to undergo a five-year environmental impact study before it can go ahead.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474005">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315761</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_6@@, Highlander's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474004">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315760</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@neilco@@, children must be board certified to append &quot;Jr&quot; to their name.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474003">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315760</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_6@@, the terminally ill are applying for visas from their bed.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474002">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315759</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@feuch@@, grinding bureaucracy has the international wheels of justice turning slowly.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474001">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315759</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_5@@, new pests have been imported into MSN 5.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346474000">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315759</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@acid_magic_sfs@@, the government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473999">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315758</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_5@@, a good deed is rewarded with a thank you note attached to a deportation order.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473998">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315757</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@blackspire_imperium@@, the most popular WhoTube videos are ones featuring parodies of iconic songs.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473997">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315757</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@acid_magic_sfs@@, international tensions are high as Acid Magic SFS threatens any government with the audacity to arrest its citizens.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473996">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315756</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_4@@, rumor has it that Highlander has won three lotteries in a row.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473995">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315756</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@austro-bavaria_and_baden-wurttemberg@@ created a custom banner.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473994">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315756</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_4@@, colonists who were promised new lands find only war-torn devastation.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473993">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315756</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@sanfenia@@, the SBI Channel Tunnel project is plagued by delays.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473992">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315755</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@reichtangle_the_best@@ lodged <a href="/region=the_rejected_realms/page=display_region_rmb?postid=62203468#p62203468">a message</a> on the %%the_rejected_realms%% Regional Message Board.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473991">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315755</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@acid_magic_sfs@@, police officers often head to work wearing onesies and fluffy pink bunny-slippers.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473990">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315754</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_3@@, prospective secessionists nervously declare how worthless and unimportant they are.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473989">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315754</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_3@@, Andrews consists only of government buildings and the mansions of government janitors.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473988">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315754</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@the_vast_land@@, the nation's navy has been named the scourge of the seven thousand seas.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473987">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315753</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@academy_world_55@@, jaw strain is an increasingly common ailment.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473986">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315753</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@acid_magic_sfs@@, families are left homeless as entire suburbs are bulldozed on the whim of tribal chiefs.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473985">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315752</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_2@@, political clich&eacute;s like &quot;band-aid solutions&quot; and &quot;adrenaline shots to the economy&quot; are headed for the dumpster.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473984">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315752</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[@@msn_2@@ was reclassified from "Moralistic Democracy" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473983">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315752</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_2@@, urban high-volume mailers now receive their mail via chauffeur-driven limousines.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473982">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315751</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_1@@, Andrews consists only of government buildings and the mansions of government janitors.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473981">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315750</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_1@@, uploading purple prose to social media earns a place on a government watchlist.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473980">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315750</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@lightning_magic_sfs@@, Lightning Magic SFS is increasingly belligerent on the international stage.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473979">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315749</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@newheal@@, prenuptial contracts have replaced diamond rings in marriage proposals.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473978">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315749</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@academy_world_55@@, a rebrand a day keeps the debt collectors away.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473977">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315749</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@amsterdam_netherlands@@, passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473976">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315748</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@collective_will@@, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473975">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315748</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_0@@, gay hospital patients are labelled with a pink triangle to alert staff of their substandard blood.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473974">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315748</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@lightning_magic_sfs@@, boats straying just metres away from the shore will raise the ire of the Coast Guard.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473973">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315748</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@msn_0@@, Highlander claims tax rises are the result of 'curses'.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473972">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315747</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@semper-luxuria@@, a newly discovered small mammal's name translates into Semper-Luxurian as 'your finger, you fool'.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473971">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315746</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@white_walker_100@@, understaffed slavers offer highballs when asked to 'pass the screwdriver' during household maintenance.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473970">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315746</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@white_walker_100@@, White Walker 100 successfully hosted the NationStates Olympics.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473969">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315746</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@lightning_magic_sfs@@, the face of Leader is a permanent feature of the Lightning Magic SFS City skyline.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473968">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315745</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@guest_nation_127@@, candidates make campaign speeches at the funerals of former rivals.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473967">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315745</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@white_walker_99@@, the nation's politicians are acknowledged as the most polite in the region to the dismay of comedians everywhere.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>

<EVENT id="346473966">
<TIMESTAMP>1781315745</TIMESTAMP>
<TEXT><![CDATA[Following new legislation in @@amsterdam_netherlands@@, beating enemies to death with a baseball bat is legal if done within nine innings.]]></TEXT>
</EVENT>
</HAPPENINGS>
</WORLD>
