The United Provinces of Balzaria is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, notable for its complete lack of prisons, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic population of 14.851 billion Balzarians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, liberal government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Balzarus. The average income tax rate is 90.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Balzarian economy, worth a remarkable 1,164 trillion balzans a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 78,442 balzans, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Residents of ageing concrete tower blocks have vital renovation work stopped by Brutalism enthusiasts, the Messiah (formerly known as Brian) is a mayoral candidate, small patches of desolate land across the world are part of Balzarian sovereign territory, and there is something rotten in the state of Balzaria. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Balzaria's national animal is the wagtail, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Balzaria is ranked 5,592^nd in the world and 284^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 13,866.44 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.