The Federal Republic of Besmenien is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its compulsory military service, public floggings, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 9.619 billion Besmenians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Laitstadt. The average income tax rate is 68.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Besmenienian economy, worth 808 trillion Schillings a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 84,049 Schillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère, cigarettes are dead-cheap, the first half of cabinet meetings include Leader complaining about the reasonable nation theory (Besmenien has found 1 easter egg), and millions are awarded in damages for bad haircuts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Besmenien's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Besmenien is ranked 46,058^th in the world and 17^th in Coalition of Crown Albatross for Lowest Crime Rates, with 75.4 law-abiding acts per hour.