The Socialist Union of Blaist Blaland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Blaist Communist Party with a fair hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, sprawling nuclear power plants, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 20.581 billion Blaites are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Blanaxon. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Blaite economy, worth a remarkable 5,656 trillion Work Units a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 274,818 Work Units, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Blaite watches are often the only thing to survive a disaster intact, giggling teens are asked to put their mouths on rubber dolls, every day has been a surprise since weather reporters turned to consulting ancient totems for their seven-day forecasts, and asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes. Crime is totally unknown. Blaist Blaland's national animal is the African Grey Parrot, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Blaist Blaland is ranked 132,354^th in the world and 317^th in The Communist Bloc for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 739.47 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.