by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 12thLargest Gambling Industry: 605thMost Efficient Economies: 719th
The Substitutiary Locomotion of
Compulsory Consumerist State
Skin on skin, let the love begin
Influence
Auxiliary
Funslinger
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Captain Woodhouse

Population20.357 billion

CapitalThe Valley of Ashes
LeaderT J Eckleburg
FaithAubrey-Maturinism

Currency$$
AnimalDeath's-head hawkmoth

The Substitutiary Locomotion of Captain Woodhouse is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by T J Eckleburg with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, deadly medical pandemics, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 20.357 billion Captain Woodhouseans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Valley of Ashes. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Woodhousean economy, worth a remarkable 5,158 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 253,400 $$s, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 764,774 per year while the poor average 65,416, a ratio of 11.7 to 1.

Begun the Clone Wars have, a murderous reputation can revitalise a flagging celebrity career, playing an online nation simulation game legally obliges you to buy the creator's latest novel, and the "temporary replacement bus service" is now a permanent fixture. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Woodhouse's national animal is the Death's-head hawkmoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Aubrey-Maturinism.

Captain Woodhouse is ranked 93,309th in the world and 21st in BLITZKRIEG for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 1,687.42 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 12thLargest Gambling Industry: 605thMost Efficient Economies: 719thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 735thMost Armed: 997thLargest Retail Industry: 1,038thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,039thHighest Crime Rates: 1,055thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,209thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,216thFattest Citizens: 1,337thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,864thMost Avoided: 1,943rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,959thHighest Economic Output: 1,977thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,086thTop
5%
Rudest Citizens: 2,761stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,054thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,071stHighest Average Incomes: 3,362ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,899thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,275thMost Cultured: 5,027thLargest Publishing Industry: 5,157thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,806thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,968thLargest Mining Sector: 6,407thMost Secular: 6,705thMost Scientifically Advanced: 7,232ndLargest Populations: 7,396thLargest Agricultural Sector: 9,115thLargest Governments: 11,782ndTop
10%
Largest Black Market: 14,439thLargest Insurance Industry: 15,871stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 16,802ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 17,201stLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,472ndMost Influential: 17,548thMost Pro-Market: 19,432ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 21,528thSmartest Citizens: 22,130thHighest Drug Use: 23,809thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 23,905th
Top
5%
Largest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Largest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Avoided: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Cultured: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, the "temporary replacement bus service" is now a permanent fixture.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, playing an online nation simulation game legally obliges you to buy the creator's latest novel.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, a murderous reputation can revitalise a flagging celebrity career.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, begun the Clone Wars have.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, young soldiers are shocked to discover there are no 'safe spaces' on a battlefield.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, it's often raining men (hallelujah) in The Valley of Ashes.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, the masses are surrendering their civil liberties without complaint for the sake of shopping convenience.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, the voyages of obsolete star-trekking satellites on deliberate escape orbits are only just beginning.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, at least 4 unique companies in Captain Woodhouse claim to sell Eckie-Cola.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, the government is known to care more about its buildings than its people.

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