by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Public Transport: 8thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 20thLargest Black Market: 21st
The Armed Republic of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Dílis go Bás
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population20.306 billion

CapitalTech Duinn
FaithThe Order of Donn


The Armed Republic of Celtician is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Donn with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, fear of technology, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 20.306 billion Celts are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Industry, and Environment are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tech Duinn. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Celticianian economy, worth an astonishing 16,187 trillion Oricalcums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 797,196 Oricalcums, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

The nationalistic national anthem inspires citizens to literally spit at foreigners, the police double as repo men, euthanasia is illegal, and concert halls sport signs proclaiming "No Shorts, Sandals or Swastikas". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Celtician's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Order of Donn.

Celtician is ranked 47th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 11,564.28 on the Clooney Contribution Index.

Most Advanced Public Transport: 8thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 20thLargest Black Market: 21stLowest Crime Rates: 21stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 28thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 31stHighest Average Incomes: 37thLargest Governments: 38thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 44thMost Corrupt Governments: 44thMost Subsidized Industry: 45thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 47thHighest Average Tax Rates: 49thHighest Poor Incomes: 52ndMost Advanced Public Education: 55thHighest Economic Output: 128thLargest Information Technology Sector: 131stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 155thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 242ndSmartest Citizens: 254thMost Efficient Economies: 383rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 483rdLargest Publishing Industry: 542ndLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 809thMost Devout: 1,049thLargest Mining Sector: 1,071stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,262ndMost Beautiful Environments: 1,276thMost Cultured: 1,375thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,117thTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 2,381stMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,453rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,652ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,861stMost Valuable International Artwork: 3,406thMost Authoritarian: 5,545thMost Stationary: 5,916thHealthiest Citizens: 6,247thLargest Populations: 6,351stLargest Agricultural Sector: 8,831stMost Conservative: 10,269thTop
Most Influential: 11,746thMost Developed: 12,385thMost Extreme: 19,501st
Largest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 3rd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 4th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 4th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 4th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 6th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 8th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 11th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 14th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 17th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 23rd in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 40th in the regionMost Devout: 56th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 57th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 63rd in the regionMost Cultured: 66th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 77th in the regionTop
Most Stationary: 98th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 104th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 112th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 119th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 120th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 143rd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 159th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 173rd in the regionLargest Populations: 185th in the regionMost Influential: 276th in the regionMost Extreme: 316th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 356th in the regionMost Conservative: 422nd in the regionTop
Largest Agricultural Sector: 437th in the regionMost Developed: 727th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 780th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, concert halls sport signs proclaiming "No Shorts, Sandals or Swastikas".
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, euthanasia is illegal.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, the police double as repo men.
  • : Celtician was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, the nationalistic national anthem inspires citizens to literally spit at foreigners.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, Celts caught jaywalking often have their houses seized by the police.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, the police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, family trees become bare as entire branches are lopped off.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, a newly discovered small mammal's name translates into Celticianian as 'your finger, you fool'.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, water fights now end with thousands dead.


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