by Max Barry

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Largest Insurance Industry: 21stLargest Retail Industry: 24thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 35th
The Nasty Side of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Why spare the rod? Hit the Little Brat!!!
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Child Care Workers

Population28.572 billion

CapitalKiddie Coral
Leaderthe Master Punisher
FaithBDSM

CurrencyBeating
AnimalLittle Brat

The Nasty Side of Child Care Workers is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by the Master Punisher with an iron fist, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, sprawling nuclear power plants, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 28.572 billion Crazed Lunatics are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kiddie Coral. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Child Care Looney economy, worth an astonishing 16,706 trillion Beatings a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 584,700 Beatings, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,655,746 per year while the poor average 39,755, a ratio of 92.0 to 1.

Members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, a rusted hulk in Kiddie Coral harbour has been voted the worst eyesore in Canada, children are seen fighting in the playground for bread scraps that fall out of diamond-encrusted lunchboxes, and rag-wearing teachers are often mistaken for homeless people. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Child Care Workers's national animal is the Little Brat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is BDSM.

Child Care Workers is ranked 242,389th in the world and 179th in Canada for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 2.71 Tourists Per Hour.

Top
1%
Largest Insurance Industry: 21stLargest Retail Industry: 24thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 35thLargest Gambling Industry: 39thMost Corrupt Governments: 50thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 50thHighest Disposable Incomes: 65thFattest Citizens: 76thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 82ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 85thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 105thMost Avoided: 111thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 120thHighest Economic Output: 129thLargest Agricultural Sector: 141stMost Secular: 146thLargest Mining Sector: 157thHighest Average Incomes: 164thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 195thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 236thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 279thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 389thMost Armed: 406thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 436thMost Efficient Economies: 466thRudest Citizens: 592ndHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 758thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 945thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,177thLargest Black Market: 2,416thTop
5%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 2,515thLargest Populations: 2,806thLargest Publishing Industry: 7,321stMost Valuable International Artwork: 11,621stTop
10%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 12,558thLargest Governments: 13,180thMost Conservative: 13,321stLowest Crime Rates: 13,756thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 17,219thLargest Information Technology Sector: 18,235thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 19,230thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 20,947th
Top
1%
Fattest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 3rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 4th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5th in the regionLargest Black Market: 5th in the regionMost Conservative: 8th in the regionTop
10%
Most Extreme: 15th in the regionLargest Populations: 16th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 17th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Child Care Workers, rag-wearing teachers are often mistaken for homeless people.
  • : Following new legislation in Child Care Workers, children are seen fighting in the playground for bread scraps that fall out of diamond-encrusted lunchboxes.
  • : Following new legislation in Child Care Workers, a rusted hulk in Kiddie Coral harbour has been voted the worst eyesore in Canada.
  • : Following new legislation in Child Care Workers, members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods.
  • : Child Care Workers was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Ignorant Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Child Care Workers, wars of expansion are described as "peacekeeping operations".
  • : Following new legislation in Child Care Workers, religious bigotry is not allowed but bigotry against theism is encouraged.
  • : Following new legislation in Child Care Workers, half of the nation's import/export industry is run from a location known only as 'Dead Man's Cove'.
  • : Child Care Workers was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Child Care Workers was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Black Market.

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