The New Kingdom of Clton is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by King Michael Taya with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 11.737 billion Keltans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mineoskemon. The average income tax rate is 86.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Keltan economy, worth a remarkable 1,636 trillion Shemnis a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 139,446 Shemnis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's armed forces are recruiting thousands to help colonise Brasilistan, the airship business has been driven out of the country by strict regulations and high fines, the Keltan Arts Council pays teenagers to sit through opera performances, and "To Hell or to Marshland" is a common settler cry directed at native Brasilistanis. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Clton's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Eastern Orthodox Christianity.

Clton is ranked 307,012^th in the world and 6,067^th in the Rejected Realms for Nudest, with 9.5 cheeks per square mile.