by Max Barry

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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 546thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 562ndMost Influential: 902nd
The Devastation of
Hit it With a Rock
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Cro Magnon

Population14.676 billion

CapitalThe Fire Pit
Leadera council of Dons

Currencyshiny stone
AnimalWoolly Mammoth

The Devastation of Cro Magnon is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a council of Dons with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, keen interest in outer space, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 14.676 billion Cro Mags live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, liberal, outspoken individuals is primarily concerned with Industry, with Education also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Fire Pit. Income tax is unheard of.

The all-consuming Cro Magnon economy, worth a remarkable 1,242 trillion shiny stones a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Soda Sales industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 84,671 shiny stones, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

The country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, closed universities are currently being converted into MacDonald's restaurants, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high, and Humongo-Mart's Beef 'n Woolly Mammoth Lasagne is a hit. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cro Magnon's national animal is the Woolly Mammoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Darkesianism.

Cro Magnon is ranked 200,857th in the world and 5,172nd in the West Pacific for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring zero on the Gilded Widget Scale.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 546thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 562ndMost Influential: 902ndHighest Crime Rates: 1,015thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,635thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,843rdHighest Drug Use: 1,960thFattest Citizens: 2,033rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,150thTop
Most Armed: 2,477thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,958thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,103rdMost Avoided: 3,503rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5,082ndRudest Citizens: 6,856thLargest Retail Industry: 7,189thHighest Disposable Incomes: 9,242ndLargest Mining Sector: 11,176thTop
Highest Economic Output: 13,659thLargest Populations: 15,303rdMost Politically Free: 17,313thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 17,493rd
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 10th in the regionMost Influential: 11th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 13th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 21st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 26th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 35th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 44th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 45th in the regionFattest Citizens: 46th in the regionMost Armed: 46th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 52nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 60th in the regionTop
Most Avoided: 75th in the regionMost Politically Free: 81st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 89th in the regionLargest Populations: 131st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 175th in the regionRudest Citizens: 178th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 185th in the regionNudest: 206th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 211th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 218th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 227th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 307th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 248 » Bran Astor, Bhang Bhang Duc, Kisovec, Wickedly evil people, Sensorland, DiscGolfLand, Psikuta, Divina Patriae, Atheist States of Philippines, Arnic, Condonohia, Pi Island, Kittenlicious, Twisted Duality, Free Radio States, New Belia, Cryland, Crazy Waters, Constantinopolisia, Fallgriffin, Greg Tucker, Pandaland III, Pandaland II, Liberillia, Mirchusko, Comia Noracon, Leukogeras, Bigstickistan, Probablynotverygoodistan, Wyndward, Archonina, Sindria, Greynne, Turacedran, Libterraria, The Fourth Redoubt, Dreamers for Hope, Glorious Existence, Rubberduckia, The Rega, Western End Them Son, Albyion Kingdom, Svanland, Pastern, Westwind, Nedtherland, Tropical Isles, Marina Nova, Granducato Toscana, Xupqeu, and 198 others.Desmosthenes and Burke, Oronia, Santos-Dominius, Marshalia, Win Mints, Fielure, Matism, Great Sheriffdom, Maria, Thyrall, New Democratic Republic of Russia, The Father-Land, Mercia Regnum, Lynier, The Shark Islands, Numpties, Triestine, Bodusse, Mathematania, The North American Assembly, The Technocratic Ideas, Avadon, Winter Aura, Lanaroce, Loegries, Sniki, The United Tribes of Bantai, Imperial Eascalsh Ohavillbell, Neon Sweden, Dankinsted, Vasilism, Common Good, Shaktirajya, Ingentis Novus, Eritasia, Bova Ptaltand, The Undivided, Atopias, BoxcarJim, Ellcrys, Zenduria, Sik Levi, Robbinston, Papercuts and Skittles, Ferroia, Resurgence City, Gryphonian Alliance, Meedvheyt, Q The Almighty, Euarsia, The Northeastern Confederation, The Isle of Burgrass, Kiensu, Amanohara, Futuo, Al-Amanah, Nieubasria, Craiolia, Arracrania, Antahbrantahstan, IndyCar Racing, Moriari, Plankstein, Holmani, Mediobogdum, Zoran, Fujai, Anuubis, Inner Paniumati, Volkason, Sniper Slayers, Fallen Iron Duke, Ahssn, Willow Gate, East Swedesia, Bonelandia, Bucals Kagotoaion, Democratic Peoples Freedonia, El Facil, Irador, Grand Republic of the Sun, Vlobbania, Wasgonia, SV Equinox, Starblazer, Region of Dwipantara, Ozis Isles, Thevinia, Pepinooo, Cumidava, Slawin Hall, San Diego Islands, Sirulinuck, Kalla, Emark, Arostatzka, Heslovasia, Impitystan, Eskaton, Dank Content, Nas Crustium, Hamburg Neo, Baxterra, New Amerigo, Samueliebox, The Eastern Pennsylvanian State, Gracelantia, IXIMMXVIII, Pia Ottland, Nakara Nation, Great Republic of Joland, East Carelia, Qapaq Suyu, Bygone John, Marikeb, Ocheon, Sultanat of Turkistan, Salt Lake Mountain, Gottlands, Befiehl, Metailuria, Demetrian, New Velka, Ostellan, Armis Maxima, Meone, Pilonistan, Madarna, Immortea, Professor Thomas, Yeetsralia, Neoteutonia, India and Bangladesh, Valocke, Itrusca, Blakyria, Marisala, Betsomarik, Dolandialand, Aldesport, Atlasan, Irongirong, BIteland, Nowns Soveria, Acwaffle, Weyrland, Theicor, Romlania, Yaspica, Brouca, Boacken, Diaconstipation, Squornshelan Remnant States, The Vergville, Tyyyyysylvania, Kurabis, The Era, Irvinovia, Fresnillo, Saint The Better, JayDub, Asrilel, The Muh Granis, Newfieisland, No-no land, Orson Welles, Eleftherios venizelos, Plarland Amex, Wild Wild 100s, Dalimbar, Davislanding, Iglot, Galaxy Meows, The United Republic of Westend, Dilber, Vaulestia, Xicqy, The First Earth Empire, Ilyaslavia, Giovanniland, Recuecn, Fuentana, Tres Gatos, Frozen Eggos, Zonduria, Federal Bohemia, New Moriya, Paschalia, Fhaengshia, Nagaraningrad, Blue Amazon, Skovik, Corbeil, Bobki, Sinoistan, Forcaforta, Smedlandia, and Area 591.

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