by Max Barry

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Largest Soda Pop Sector: 544th Highest Crime Rates: 823rd Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,042nd
The Devastation of
Hit it With a Rock
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Cro Magnon

Population12.484 billion

CapitalThe Fire Pit
Leadera council of Dons

Currencyshiny stone
AnimalWoolly Mammoth

The Devastation of Cro Magnon is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a council of Dons with a fair hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, complete lack of prisons, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 12.484 billion Cro Mags live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, liberal, pro-business, outspoken individuals is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, with Environment and Welfare not funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Fire Pit. Income tax is unheard of.

The all-consuming Cro Magnon economy, worth a remarkable 1,195 trillion shiny stones a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Retail, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 95,736 shiny stones, with the richest citizens earning 8.8 times as much as the poorest.

The country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, closed universities are currently being converted into MacDonald's restaurants, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high, and Humongo-Mart's Beef 'n Woolly Mammoth Lasagne is a hit. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cro Magnon's national animal is the Woolly Mammoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Darkesianism.

Cro Magnon is ranked 101,552nd in the world and 3,922nd in the West Pacific for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 947.83 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.

Largest Soda Pop Sector: 544thHighest Crime Rates: 823rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,042ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1,170thMost Armed: 1,213thMost Influential: 1,640thTop
Largest Gambling Industry: 1,745thFattest Citizens: 1,797thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,838thHighest Drug Use: 2,332ndMost Avoided: 2,557thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,003rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,048thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,626thRudest Citizens: 4,364thLargest Retail Industry: 5,065thHighest Disposable Incomes: 6,746thLargest Mining Sector: 7,505thMost Politically Free: 8,136thTop
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 8,978thMost Pro-Market: 9,681stHighest Economic Output: 11,887thNudest: 12,179thMost Extreme: 13,542ndLargest Populations: 15,899th
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 9th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 13th in the regionMost Influential: 13th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 15th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 22nd in the regionMost Armed: 24th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 28th in the regionFattest Citizens: 31st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 32nd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 34th in the regionMost Avoided: 49th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 50th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 61st in the regionTop
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 83rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 117th in the regionRudest Citizens: 127th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 144th in the regionLargest Populations: 146th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 164th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 174th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 183rd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 234th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 238th in the regionNudest: 274th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 397th in the regionMost Extreme: 433rd in the regionMost Stationary: 638th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 127 » Bhang Bhang Duc, The Holy Principality of Saint Mark, Alchera, Westwind, Yy4u, Pandaland III, Bran Astor, Dalimbar, Glorious Existence, The 9 Stars, Zogradia, Fujai, Shaktirajya, Avadon, Allwarts, Pandaland II, Oometz, Mathematania, Greynne, The Free States of Gotham, New Belia, Keerim Foundation, Oronia, The Father-Land, Montreal-Quebec, Acropylae, Fallgriffin, Numpties, New Democratic Republic of Russia, Xiuhtezcatl, Kisovec, Champaign, Kittenlicious, Mirchusko, Condonohia, Archonina, DiscGolfLand, Twisted Duality, Liberillia, Win Mints, WyEast, Divina Patriae, Comia Noracon, Ioways, Thyrall, Greg Tucker, Triestine, Torkvale, Podium, Wyndward, and 77 others.United Adaikes, Leukogeras, The United Republic of Westend, Sindria, Common Good, Lynier, Volpi Apostati, Cyno, Barcocoland, Kyeongsang, Aldesport, Merbija, The Undivided, The Anclave, Carinthea, The Union of American Territories, Suniterian, Matism, Robbinston, Meedvheyt, Coung Komands, Nevafornia, The Anti-Social Socialists, Psikuta, Vugaland, Dreamers for Hope, Nedtherland, Shaqolandia, Cazia Minor, Desmosthenes and Burke, Shining Potato Land, Svanland, Rivello, Escapitania, Empire of Spartacus, Atopias, Mankerson, Luminaros, Great Sheriffdom, Ferroia, El Facil, Ellcrys, Grandi Fiori, LightBane, New Velka, Cerulean Prime, Ljosalfaryz, Fourth European Reich, Cryland, Ilmecith, Doggerstan, Kevzera, Marshalia, Zamoland, North Sylar, Ostindische, Altrealis, Denieria, Teralyon, Gryphonian Alliance, BoxcarJim, Crazy Waters, Giovanniland, Sensorland, Holmani, Orcatortugs, Yungtopia, El Valentino, Fumafuma, Tropical Isles, Else Where Lands, Varanius, Pastern, Atheist States of Philippines, Meow-meow-mia, Bigstickistan, and MCdonalds Piligrims.

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