by Max Barry

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Largest Soda Pop Sector: 568thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 927thHighest Crime Rates: 938th
The Devastation of
Hit it With a Rock
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Cro Magnon

Population14.069 billion

CapitalThe Fire Pit
Leadera council of Dons

Currencyshiny stone
AnimalWoolly Mammoth

The Devastation of Cro Magnon is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a council of Dons with a fair hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, keen interest in outer space, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 14.069 billion Cro Mags live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, liberal, pro-business, outspoken individuals is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, although Education is also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Fire Pit. Income tax is unheard of.

The all-consuming Cro Magnon economy, worth a remarkable 1,304 trillion shiny stones a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 92,756 shiny stones, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

The country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, closed universities are currently being converted into MacDonald's restaurants, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high, and Humongo-Mart's Beef 'n Woolly Mammoth Lasagne is a hit. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cro Magnon's national animal is the Woolly Mammoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Darkesianism.

Cro Magnon is ranked 26,670th in the world and 637th in the West Pacific for Most Pro-Market, scoring 74.57 on the Rand Index.

Largest Soda Pop Sector: 568thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 927thHighest Crime Rates: 938thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,190thMost Influential: 1,276thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,702ndFattest Citizens: 1,929thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,962ndTop
Most Armed: 2,097thHighest Drug Use: 2,409thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,461stMost Avoided: 2,990thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,119thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,553rdRudest Citizens: 5,715thLargest Retail Industry: 6,171stHighest Disposable Incomes: 7,642ndLargest Mining Sector: 9,225thTop
Highest Economic Output: 12,481stMost Politically Free: 13,693rdMost Extensive Civil Rights: 14,237thLargest Populations: 15,488thNudest: 19,610th
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 13th in the regionMost Influential: 15th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 17th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 20th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 33rd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 35th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 36th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 39th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 40th in the regionFattest Citizens: 42nd in the regionMost Armed: 46th in the regionTop
Most Avoided: 61st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 64th in the regionMost Politically Free: 81st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 87th in the regionLargest Populations: 132nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 151st in the regionRudest Citizens: 154th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 164th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 180th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 198th in the regionNudest: 225th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 262nd in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 322nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 197 » Bran Astor, Bhang Bhang Duc, Kisovec, Recuecn, The Unified Missourtama States, Gastenburg, The Holy Principality of Saint Mark, Wickedly evil people, Sensorland, DiscGolfLand, Psikuta, Divina Patriae, Atheist States of Philippines, Arnic, Condonohia, Pi Island, United Adaikes, 3kruimels, Kittenlicious, Twisted Duality, Free Radio States, New Belia, Cryland, Crazy Waters, Constantinopolisia, Fallgriffin, Greg Tucker, Pandaland III, Pandaland II, Liberillia, Mirchusko, Comia Noracon, Leukogeras, Bigstickistan, Probablynotverygoodistan, Wyndward, Atleska, Denieria, Archonina, Sindria, Greynne, Quevilis, The Grandest Empire, Turacedran, Libterraria, The Fourth Redoubt, Dreamers for Hope, Glorious Existence, Rubberduckia, The Rega, and 147 others.Western End Them Son, Albyion Kingdom, Svanland, Pastern, Westwind, Nedtherland, Tropical Isles, Marina Nova, Granducato Toscana, Xupqeu, Desmosthenes and Burke, Oronia, Santos-Dominius, Rineia, Marshalia, Win Mints, Fielure, Matism, Great Sheriffdom, Kenestral, Maria, Thyrall, New Democratic Republic of Russia, The Father-Land, Mercia Regnum, Lynier, The Shark Islands, Numpties, Triestine, Bodusse, Mathematania, The North American Assembly, The Technocratic Ideas, Avadon, Winter Aura, Lavender Honey, Lanaroce, CaskistalanarisKirkjubjark, Loegries, Fuentana, Sniki, The United Tribes of Bantai, My Anxiety, Imperial Eascalsh Ohavillbell, Neon Sweden, Dankinsted, Vasilism, Common Good, Shaktirajya, Ingentis Novus, Eritasia, Bova Ptaltand, The Undivided, Atopias, BoxcarJim, Ellcrys, Zenduria, Sik Levi, Robbinston, Dilber, Dalimbar, Papercuts and Skittles, Ferroia, Resurgence City, Gryphonian Alliance, Meedvheyt, Q The Almighty, Surroosia, Turizion, Euarsia, The Northeastern Confederation, The Isle of Burgrass, Scationtanland, Kiensu, Amanohara, Futuo, Al-Amanah, Nieubasria, Craiolia, Arracrania, Antahbrantahstan, IndyCar Racing, Moriari, Av Libertas Vindex, Eienn, Plankstein, Hiems, Parinan, Holmani, Mediobogdum, Zoran, Estriacea, Fujai, Anuubis, The Antarctic Empires, Saransh, Baleholm, Inner Paniumati, Rikanhimel, Carvell, Volkason, Sniper Slayers, Fallen Iron Duke, Ahssn, Willow Gate, Rebal Elywuzzoia, Tijati, Gemiturkapistan, East Swedesia, Bonelandia, Bucals Kagotoaion, Democratic Peoples Freedonia, Eleftherios venizelos, KenyaAA, Altopan Gilange, El Facil, Irador, Grand Republic of the Sun, Vlobbania, Glizerld, Purcheah, Peartlee, Wasgonia, Aldesport, SV Equinox, Troodan, Glenbeigh, The Citizens of Victoria, Starblazer, Region of Dwipantara, Ozis Isles, Hologaland, Thevinia, Tringapore, Pepinooo, Cumidava, Slawin Hall, San Diego Islands, Sirulinuck, Kalla, Emark, Arostatzka, Avystan, Heslovasia, Impitystan, Reklim, and Eskaton.

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