The Oppressed Peoples of Cryland is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Queen Sadness with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, national health service, and daily referendums. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 3.928 billion Crylandians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Disappointment City. The average income tax rate is 72.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Crylandian economy, worth 470 trillion Tears a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 119,844 Tears, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Tax rises are attributed to divine will, bus ads propagandize causes ranging from sexual revolution to religious pogroms, a sudden shout of "surprise!" does not herald a party for teachers, and the nation is currently revamping its entire education system. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cryland's national animal is the Blobfish, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Sadness.

Cryland is ranked 161,865^th in the world and 1,321^st in the West Pacific for Largest Black Market, with 97.0 billion Standard Monetary Units.