The Oppressed Peoples of Cryland is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Queen Sadness with a fair hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, free-roaming dinosaurs, and smutty television. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 3.125 billion Crylandians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Disappointment City. The average income tax rate is 71.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Crylandian economy, worth 376 trillion Tears a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 120,632 Tears, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Tax rises are attributed to divine will, bus ads propagandize causes ranging from sexual revolution to religious pogroms, a sudden shout of "surprise!" does not herald a party for teachers, and the nation is currently revamping its entire education system. Crime is totally unknown. Cryland's national animal is the Blobfish, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Sadness.

Cryland is ranked 14,101^st in the world and 322^nd in the West Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 87,823.91 Standard Monetary Units.