The Oppressed Peoples of Cryland is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Queen Sadness with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 2.626 billion Crylandians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Disappointment City. The average income tax rate is 69.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Crylandian economy, worth 322 trillion Tears a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 122,954 Tears, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Tax rises are attributed to divine will, bus ads propagandize causes ranging from sexual revolution to religious pogroms, a sudden shout of "surprise!" does not herald a party for teachers, and the nation is currently revamping its entire education system. Crime is totally unknown. Cryland's national animal is the Blobfish, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Sadness.

Cryland is ranked 179,455^th in the world and 5,786^th in the West Pacific for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -5.66 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.