The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by The Despot with an iron fist, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, frequent executions, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 30.871 billion Despoticanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Despoticania Prime. The average income tax rate is 98.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Despoticanian economy, worth an astonishing 32,957 trillion Despollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,067,594 Despollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The 'kind of scrawny' 500 meter hurdle is a popular event, people talk about things being better when men were men, the government has stated an intention to min-max its stats for 'teh pwnage', and the military has forsaken terrestrial warfare. Crime is totally unknown. Despoticania's national animal is the Winged Unicorn Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of Transcendental Hatred.

Despoticania is ranked 8,879^th in the world and 21^st in The Alliance of Dictators for Most Authoritarian, with 4,723.14 milliStalins.