by Max Barry

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Rudest Citizens: 448thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 496thFattest Citizens: 805th
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Diche Choklate

Population5.702 billion

LeaderPresident Jorgenson


The Republic of Diche Choklate is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by President Jorgenson with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, keen interest in outer space, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 5.702 billion Choklatians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Townsville. The average income tax rate is 7.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Choklatian economy, worth a remarkable 1,639 trillion Cashmarks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 287,506 Cashmarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables, business owners return from long vacations to find their factories have been turned into homeless shelters, internet searches for the inventor of the three-wheeled steam-powered Choklatian weed picker are way up, and heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Diche Choklate's national animal is the Alligator, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Canoism.

Diche Choklate is ranked 224,728th in the world and 248th in Sonindia for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -17.61 on the Clooney Contribution Index.

Rudest Citizens: 448thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 496thFattest Citizens: 805thHighest Disposable Incomes: 880thLargest Retail Industry: 918thMost Avoided: 1,062ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,407thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,418thMost Armed: 1,453rdHighest Crime Rates: 1,601stLargest Gambling Industry: 1,610thMost Rebellious Youth: 2,098thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 2,273rdHighest Drug Use: 2,465thLargest Mining Sector: 2,515thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,654thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,670thMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,996thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,129thMost Efficient Economies: 3,234thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,430thMost Valuable International Artwork: 3,488thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,718thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,801stLargest Publishing Industry: 3,915thLargest Information Technology Sector: 4,064thMost Inclusive: 4,639thLargest Black Market: 4,700thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4,966thSmartest Citizens: 5,803rdMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,958thMost Cultured: 7,371stMost Corrupt Governments: 7,910thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 9,466thHighest Economic Output: 9,789thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10,213thTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 11,473rdLargest Governments: 11,714thMost Secular: 11,932ndMost Subsidized Industry: 12,229thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 17,492ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 19,495th
Fattest Citizens: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 2nd in the regionTop
Largest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 3rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 4th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 4th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 5th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 6th in the regionLargest Black Market: 6th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 7th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 8th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 10th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 11th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 11th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 11th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 12th in the regionTop
Most Inclusive: 13th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 16th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 16th in the regionMost Cultured: 17th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 18th in the regionMost Secular: 20th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 22nd in the regionLargest Governments: 24th in the region

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