by Max Barry

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The Benevolent Queendom of
Democratic Socialists

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

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The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2019 October - December

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History
2019

October - December

October 2nd, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 448th in the world and 19th in Lazarus for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 16,976.48 on the Gilded Widget Scale.
    • The Divine Cervinean Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation. #448
    • Sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. #786
    • Animal liberationists receive government funding to break into animal research labs. #502
    • Enemy navies sail within bombardment range of major coastal cities with impunity. #1062
    • Stuttering trypanophobes are doomed never to marry. #943
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Average to Below Average.
    • RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #624
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Below Average to Average.

October 4th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,511th in the world and 257th in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
    • Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #293
    • Pandemics are over and done with by the time it takes to pass the nation's stringent border security. #950
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Average to Below Average.
    • Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned purple fairy deerball fields. #415
    • The police have been known to wiretap confessional boxes. #648
    • Glamping Divine Deerlings won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi. #706
    • The government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. #589

October 5th, 2019

    • Citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones. #1164
    • The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. #35
    • Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #556

October 7th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 41,328.75 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
    • Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #62
    • A government program is underway to revitalize Divine Cervine's beaches. #31
    • Unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves. #667
    • Vaccinations are mandatory. #413
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October 9th, 2019

    • Divine Cervine's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region. #61
    • Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #207
    • Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms rose from Very Good to Excellent.
    • The national policy for Public Protest has been reinstalled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.

October 10th, 2019

    • Employers are finding it hard to screen candidates now that everyone gets A grades in their exams. #830
    • There have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons'. #128
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Below Average to Average.
    • Bitter pastors forced to officiate gay marriage 'accidentally' pronounce couples "husband and abomination". #759
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Average Incomes.

October 11th, 2019

    • Radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion. #219

October 12th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 32nd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Best Weather, with 2,346 Meters Of Sunlight.
    • Nobody looks each other in the eye at neighborhood block parties any more. #1270
    • The government's giant servers are often used as a tourist trap. #1100
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October 13th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 264th in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 100 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
    • Enchanted Wildwood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #518
    • Queen Arbeaone can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees. #756
    • Drones are unable to lift the weight of their accompanying paperwork. #849
    • Schoolboys who turn to watch pretty girls go by are given detention. #1251
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October 14th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 12th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 100.01 on the Human Development Index.
    • School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #501
    • The government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles. #29
    • Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #71
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October 15th, 2019

    • There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. #138
    • The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances. #677
    • Explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends. #880
    • Cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting. #642

October 17th, 2019

    • Several underground organisations in Divine Cervine have recently been spreading discontent throughout the populace about not being able to vote. #177 dismissed
    • Artists are pillars of society. #124
    • An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. #218
    • Busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets. #785
    • There's a bright dawn ahead for Divine Cervine. #821

October 18th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,955th in the world and 77th in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 25,526.22 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.
    • Prudishness is on the way out. #411
    • 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners. #892
    • The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #551
    • There's never enough space in space. #754
    • Construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway. #249

October 19th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 10,173rd in the world and 578th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 378.33 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
    • Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #440
    • Children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life. #190
    • Droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. #321
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October 20th, 2019

    • Children crying over dropped ice creams are offered high doses of experimental antidepressants. #576
    • A vast monorail network carries people all over the country. #83
    • The Museum of Soybeans is the cultural heart of the nation. #581
    • Orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. #638

October 22nd, 2019

    • The nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms. #226
    • Farting etiquette is taught in schools. #946
    • It can be a real jungle in a modern courtroom. #1217
    • Economic planning is exalted as a human art form. #472
    • There are no more heroes any more. #935

October 23rd, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 212th in the world and 4th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 555 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.
    • The reams of paperwork accompanying any electronic item are a recognised contributor to national deforestation. #890
    • Prolonged government investigations are a common revenge tactic among spurned spouses. #836
    • The government has declared victoria over the cheese menace. #507
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October 25th, 2019

    • Astronauts take one small step for Divine Cervine and one giant step backward from confrontation. #1244
    • Nouveau riche farmers diligently take care of their golden calf herds. #1075
    • Tourists outnumber citizens two to one. #292
    • The experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Purple Fairy Deer Dung" has been declared a national treasure. #856

October 26th, 2019

    • The amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded. #720
    • Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #616
    • UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. #81

October 27th, 2019

    • The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #135
    • Youth call each other types of vegetables in lieu of government-banned racial insults. #767
    • The government mails weekly updates on the new anti-junk mail laws to every citizen. #1093
    • The government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters. #252

October 28th, 2019



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 11,904.85 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Average Incomes.
    • The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned. #145
    • There's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. #739
    • Elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation. #959
    • 3D printed organs are a breath of new life for the sick and elderly. #850
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October 29th, 2019


October 30th, 2019


    • Modelling agencies send their clients to work in nursing homes. #1248
    • Couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten. #1023
    • The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused. #462
    • The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea. #768
    • A zombie apocalypse has befallen upon the nation. NationStates-Z8
    • Divine Cervine is currently researching a cure for the infectious virus causing its victims to display aggressive, flesh-eating behavior.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Zombies.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Zombified.
    • Films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay. #1090
    • Politicians have seen a significant reduction in followers on their social media accounts. #992

October 31st, 2019

    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Dead.
    • A zombie apocalypse continues to ravage the nation.
    • Divine Cervine is unable to continue its efforts to research a cure due to a lack of survivors.
    • Rebuilding efforts for a recently destroyed cathedral aren't expected to be completed for another century. #1271
    • All statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers. #701
    • Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #164
    • The zombie apocalypse has ended.

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November 1st, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,018th in the world and 58th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,480.07 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
    • The seventh son of a seventh son is fated to be a millionaire. #995
    • Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade. #685
    • Cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy. #811
    • Urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts. #579
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November 2nd, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 30th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environments, with 11,900.29 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.
    • Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #431
    • The government regularly reassures citizens that there are no monsters under their beds. #976
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November 3rd, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 174th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 341.44 Quips Per Hour.
    • Small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome. #1012
    • Ten-year-olds are applying for lemonade stand operator licences. #772
    • Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. #598
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November 5th, 2019

    • The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #152
    • Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms fell from Excellent to Very Good.
    • The national policy allowing Public Protest has been cancelled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.
    • People faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations. #92
    • Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #632
    • Refugees from other nations are flocking to Divine Cervine's border. #47

November 6th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 45th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 295.61 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.
    • Relations with Dΰguσ have warmed from frosty to chilly. #610
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November 7th, 2019

    • Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. #121
    • Birth rates have hit an all-time low. #364
    • The government spends millions of € luminous orbs every year prosecuting spammers. #94
    • Hordes of tourists are ruining the environment. #1086

November 9th, 2019

    • Traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers. #1028
    • Retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. #122
    • Things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication. #1289
    • Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #661
    • Feuilletons can only be deciphered with a Galliennais dictionary. #1175

November 10th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 18th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 6,037.76 Tourists Per Hour.
    • Park rangers perform full-body searches on suspected fungus smugglers. #749
    • Shady doctors seem to have impeccable records. #1239
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November 12th, 2019

    • The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #653
    • Families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain. #699
    • Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Enchanted Wildwood Natural History Museum. #655
    • The nation's generous tax credits have brought all the film studios to the yard. #1154

November 14th, 2019

    • Earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss. #672
    • Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #149
    • Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. #353
    • Therapists can always squeeze in another house-call. #1049

November 15th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,698th in the world and 269th in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
    • Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have. #1092
    • The government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. #198
    • Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #590 dismiss lowers Health 63.49 → 63.45
    • Calling dibs is an unalienable right. #719
    • Funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience. #583

November 17th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,003rd in the world and 48th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,474.61 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
    • The nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents. #807
    • The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. #3
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Average to Good.
    • People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight. #56
    • Television characters who ask how someone's doing are charged with harassment. #1077
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Good to Average.
    • Noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law. #338
    • Older citizens lament over the loss of law and order. #1237
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Average to Good.

November 18th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 10,059th in the world and 560th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 383.43 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
    • The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #419
    • Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #23
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November 20th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 62nd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 23,966.11 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.
    • Bins outnumber trees in city parks. #1007
    • There are six more weeks of winter if a northerner sees her shadow. #733
    • The nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics. #261
    • Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #543
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November 21st, 2019

    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Efficient Economies.
    • There's nothing more gay than bleeding for your nation. #1214
    • Sex changes are routinely performed at Divine Cervine's hospitals. #66
    • Research grant proposals read like political diatribes. #523
    • Listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases. #410
    • The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #636
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Good to Average.

November 22nd, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 14th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Pacifist, with 454.71 Cheeks Turned Per Day.
    • The endangered saltwater humpback purple fairy deer is only seen in captivity programs. #547
    • Drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. #449
    • Fashion magazine covers finally display realistic body images following photo-manipulation becoming illegal. #613
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November 24th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,851st in the world and 74th in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 26,643.96 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.
    • Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. #897
    • High school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate. #504
    • Scientists earn more grant money for reproducing old experiments than trying anything new. #999
    • Elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-€ luminous orb mansions. #127
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November 26th, 2019

    • Children usually cry on their first day of school. #1128
    • The police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. #185
    • Psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Queen Arbeaone to meetings with foreign heads of state. #915
    • In this vegetarian nation the delicious smell of roasted meat is oddly commonplace. #625
    • Libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars. #99
    • High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #18
    • Almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #264

November 27th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 7th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 907.85 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
    • Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #654
    • If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Divine Cervinean satellites can detect it. #1099
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November 29th, 2019

    • Angry crowds formed yesterday around government offices in Divine Cervine, demanding the reinstatement of free and fair elections. #125 dismissed
    • Spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches. #540
    • Polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums. #1201
    • Community centers have arisen from the ashes of demolished houses of worship. #914
    • Helping grandma with her Misgendering 101 homework is a national rite of passage. #1073
    • Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #630

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December 1st, 2019



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 211th in the world and 10th in Lazarus for Least Corrupt Governments, with 98.89 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.
    • Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation. #516
    • Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #600
    • The volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose. #1058
    • Divine Cervine altered its national flag.
    • Divine Cervine changed its national motto from "Tomorrow hasn't been so terrible" to "Where the deer’s swift leap startles the wild bee".
    • Divine Cervine changed its national animal from "purple fairy deer" to "iridescent-winged purple peryton".
    • Divine Cervine gained the banner Red Dawn by revering a land-based animal.

December 2nd, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 93rd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Highest Workforce Participation Rate, with 98.23 Workforce Participation Rate.
    • Iridescent-winged purple perytons have more rights than the average citizen. #60
    • Divine Cervine's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand. #93
    • Serial commas clarify the relationship between one's lackeys, the taxpayers, and kinsfolk. #721
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December 4th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 7,486th in the world and 151st in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 1,659.70727112 Days.
    • Military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies. #663
    • Space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space. #97
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December 5th, 2019

    • Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in Divine Cervine. #922
    • Hidden bedroom-cams are installed to catch mothers doing their kids' homework. #910
    • Popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. #565
    • Drug deals return to the streets as legions of undercover officers stalk the dark web. #902

December 7th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 564th in the world and 20th in Lazarus for Most Secular, with 99.15 Atheism Rate.
    • In a baffling press conference Queen Arbeaone proudly dismantled a broken door. #503
    • Cogitators and mass debaters are skiving off work to hang around the National Symposium Park. #803
    • Male med students learning female anatomy do so with their eyes tightly closed. #1135
    • Children are disappointed to learn that cavemen never had a yabba-dabba-doo time riding dinosaurs to work. #1117
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December 9th, 2019

    • There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. #138
    • The government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly. #644
    • All the playground's a stage for Divine Cervinean schoolchildren. #984
    • The government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned. #650
    • The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #222

December 13th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Valuable International Artwork.
    • Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements. #492
    • The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #633
    • Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #557
    • Divine Cervine has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world. #263
    • Any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist. #394
    • An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc. #577

December 14th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 65th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 24,056.32 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.
    • One tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber. #937
    • No one is quite sure what many government officials look like. #852
    • The bourgeoisie are asked nicely to hand over the means of production. #1283
    • Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk. #675
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December 15th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 245th in the world and 8th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 303,095.16 Standard Monetary Units.
    • It is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow. #813
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December 17th, 2019

    • There is a dearth of space for new houses. #331
    • Terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports. #670
    • Where there's a will there is usually a password manager. #926
    • Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #276

December 19th, 2019

    • All citizens must pass a 'multicultural sensitivity test' to be deemed fit for society. #245
    • Panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet. #1030
    • The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. #908
    • Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. #493
    • Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #626

December 20th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 216th in the world and 11th in Lazarus for Least Corrupt Governments, with 98.89 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.
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December 22nd, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 57th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 237.14 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.
    • Divine Cervine gained the banner Custom #4 by reaching 10 billion citizens.
    • Divine Cervine gained the banner Mega-Metropolis by combining 10 billion citizens with a powerhouse economy.
    • RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #624
    • Police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds. #907
    • The Ministry of Health has reported a sharp increase in the incidence of delayed menopause. #1183
    • Drones are unable to lift the weight of their accompanying paperwork. #849

December 23rd, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 32nd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 100.58 on the Human Development Index.
    • Community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common. #709
    • The government funds large training centres to turn iridescent-winged purple perytons into functioning members of society. #133
    • Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #505
    • Troublemakers boast about how many times they have to visit their therapist. #1008
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December 24th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 31st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 12,053.92 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
    • Droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. #321
    • The government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines. #1029
    • Queen Arbeaone's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. #683
    • Turning eighteen is often referred to as the 'Age of Aquarius'. #510
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December 26th, 2019

    • The nation locks people up and tells them they're mad for compassion's sake. #1037
    • Funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals. #1198
    • The nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news. #776
    • A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. #750
    • Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #602
    • Printing out government documents requires the approval of at least three admins. #800
    • A blood-red mark on the doorframe means a building must be passed over for destruction. #934
    • The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Enchanted Wildwood Times is sold out. #275

December 27th, 2019


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 37th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 111.19 Effective Tax Rate.
    • Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #239
    • Stuttering trypanophobes are doomed never to marry. #943


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• The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine has reached the maximum of 25 Factbooks. The nation's history will soon be moving to Google Docs.

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