by Max Barry

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The Benevolent Queendom of
Democratic Socialists

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

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The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2017 January - February

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History
2017

January - February

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January 1st, 2017

    • Every workday begins with group therapy. #496
    • Book Publishing facilities are being turned into purple fairy deer habitats. #459
    • Birth rates have hit an all-time low. #364

January 2nd, 2017

    • Queen Arbeaone panders to nontraditional families. #432
    • Popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. #565
    • Angry crowds formed yesterday around government offices in Divine Cervine, demanding the reinstatement of free and fair elections. #125 dismissed

January 3rd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 7,340th in the world and 331st in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 173,362.42 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Nude art is becoming wildly popular. #052
    • The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #653
    • Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #485
    • Wind farms are erected on shuttered oil platforms. #346
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January 4th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 9,608th in the world and 422nd in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 99.67 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
    • The government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles. #029
    • The nation has nearly as many history museums as Divine Deerlings. #637
    • Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #276
    • Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. #053
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January 5th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 3,391st in the world and 153rd in Lazarus for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring 46 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.
    • The endangered saltwater humpback purple fairy deer is only seen in captivity programs. #547
    • National parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. #297
    • People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight. #056
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January 6th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 131st in the world and 4th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 33,732.32 on the Edu-tellignceฎ Test Score.
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January 7th, 2017

    • Workers have seized control of the economy. #339
    • Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #239

January 8th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 223rd in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 94.38 Years.
    • Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #207
    • Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms rose from Very Good to Excellent.
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January 9th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 7,271st in the world and 339th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 174,327.88 Standard Monetary Units.
    • The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction. #342
    • A vast monorail network carries people all over the country. #083
    • The government has declared victoria over the cheese menace. #507
    • The government is giving peace a chance. #312
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January 10th, 2017

    • Noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law. #338
    • Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #062
    • The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #633

January 11th, 2017

    • Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #626
    • The number of students attending university has reached a record high. #209
    • The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #551

January 12th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 7,244th in the world and 338th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 174,635.72 Standard Monetary Units.
    • All forms of advertising are banned. #104
    • Citizens wishing to leave the country must surrender half their wealth to the government. #283
    • Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. #353
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January 13th, 2017

    • Builders across Divine Cervine are blocked up with orders for new public loos. #525

January 14th, 2017

    • Organ donation is compulsory. #026
    • Almost all of Divine Cervine's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #264
    • The nation now has an Economy of 100.

January 15th, 2017



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 219th in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environments, with 5,401.72 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Efficient Economies.
    • The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned. #145
    • The newspaper industry is subsidised by the government in order to keep it afloat. #269
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January 16th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 223rd in the world and 10th in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 8,737.35 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
    • Invading armies are given hard glares for their cheek. #244
    • Divine Cervine's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. #237
    • Citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages. #115
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January 17th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 217th in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 94.46 Years.
    • Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #149
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Very Good to Good.
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January 18th, 2017


January 19th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Stationary.
    • Betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant. #371 Doesn't lower gambling anymore?
    • Suburban backyards are seized by the government and turned into national parks. #457
    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed on the Human Development Index.
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January 20th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 15,370th in the world and 339th in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 611.70794184 Days.
    • Spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches. #540
    • Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #023
    • Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. #121
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January 21st, 2017

    • An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc. #577
    • Breast milk is being redistributed from each according to their ability to each according to their need. #446
    • Orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. #638
    • The government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned. #650
    • Students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations. #522

January 22nd, 2017

    • Same-sex marriages are increasingly common. #001
    • Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #602
    • Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #600

January 23rd, 2017

    • The mining industry has taken a hit from tighter environmental regulations. #049
    • Cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting. #642
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from Democratic Socialists to Liberal Democratic Socialists.
    • The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. #035
    • Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #616
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Good to Very Good.

January 24th, 2017

    • Some Divine Cervinean athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. #573
    • Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #661
    • Fashion magazine covers finally display realistic body images following photo-manipulation becoming illegal. #613
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Very Good to Good.

January 25th, 2017

    • Maxtopian Grass flags adorn every college dorm room. #420
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Good to Very Good.
    • Mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest growing field. #373
    • Research grant proposals read like political diatribes. #523
    • The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #135

January 26th, 2017

    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Economic Output.
    • There has been a series of riots between local cannibals and health food advocates. #088
    • Educators and parents alike are allowing children to view the internet again after violent videos were purged. #550
    • The nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms. #226

January 27th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 205th in the world and 4th in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 94.59 Years.
    • Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. #493
    • The government raises tariffs on a weekly basis. #649
    • Any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist. #394
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January 28th, 2017

    • Groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol. #490
    • Divine Cervine's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region. #061
    • Long arduous trials are held for the most trivial of offences. #131
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from Liberal Democratic Socialists to Democratic Socialists.
    • The government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. #589

January 29th, 2017

    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Scientifically Advanced.
    • Almost all of Divine Cervine's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #264
    • Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #440
    • School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #501

January 30th, 2017



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 3,032nd in the world and 124th in Lazarus for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring 44 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Subsidized Industry.
    • The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. #003
    • The government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly. #644
    • Citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked. #008 increases Rudeness 6.01 → 6.02 +0.17%
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January 31st, 2017

    • Excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. #659
    • The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #636

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February 1st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 35th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 24,412.81 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
    • Citizens applying for their first jobs face fierce competition from the homeless. #251
    • Book Publishing facilities are being turned into purple fairy deer habitats. #459
    • Unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves. #667
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February 2nd, 2017

    • Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #485
    • The police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. #185
    • The national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall. #341 lowers Civil Rights 64.05 → 63.81 -0.37%
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Very Good to Good.
    • Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation. #516 increases Rudeness 5.99 → 6.00 +0.17%
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Good to Very Good.

February 3rd, 2017

    • High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #018
    • Military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies. #663

February 4th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 292nd in the world and 9th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 100 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
    • In this vegetarian nation the delicious smell of roasted meat is oddly commonplace. #625
    • Droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. #321
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February 5th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 183rd in the world and 9th in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 9,003.04 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
    • Angry crowds formed yesterday around government offices in Divine Cervine, demanding the reinstatement of free and fair elections. #125 dismissed
    • The Divine Cervinean Arts Council pays teenagers to sit through opera performances. #478
    • School children asked "what is two times two?" are likely to form a symposium to discuss how different answers make them feel. #668 increases Rudeness 5.99 → 6.00 +0.17%
    • Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #556 lowers Culture 284.00 → 282.00 -0.70%
    • Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #543

February 6th, 2017

    • Most citizens in Divine Cervine are abject pyrophobes after extremely graphic pamphlets were mailed nationwide by the government. #247
    • Workers have seized control of the economy. #339

February 7th, 2017

    • RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #624
    • Sex changes are routinely performed at Divine Cervine's hospitals. #066
    • Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #557

February 8th, 2017

    • People faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations. #092

February 9th, 2017

    • A government program is underway to revitalize Divine Cervine's beaches. #031

February 10th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,470th in the world and 46th in Lazarus for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 11,866.66 on the Gilded Widget Scale.
    • The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #152
    • Research grant proposals read like political diatribes. #523
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February 11th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 319th in the world and 10th in Lazarus for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 101.89 Effective Tax Rate.
    • Terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports. #670
    • No personal detail is too tiny for the suede-denim census police. #580 increases Death Rate, lowers Welfare, Public Healthcare, Eco-Friendliness, Foreign Aid, Civil Rights
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Very Good to Good.
    • Pushy mums tell their kids to be doctors and engineers but steer them away from being penniless lawyers. #601
    • Urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts. #579
    • Every workday begins with group therapy. #496

February 12th, 2017

    • Divine Cervine's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand. #093
    • Advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines. #548
    • The nation's leading climatologists are investigating animal flatulence in efforts to reduce methane emissions. #495

February 13th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 464.35 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
    • Nude art is becoming wildly popular. #052
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Good to Very Good.
    • Sections of the police receive paramilitary training. #455
    • The government is funding experimental battery technology while the power grid continues to crumble. #669
    • The nation is currently revamping its entire education system. #064

February 14th, 2017

    • Drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. #449
    • The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #636
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Very Good to Good.

February 15th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 200th in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environments, with 5,666.51 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.
    • The nation faces constant invasions by foreign boy bands. #673 lowers Pacifism 320.71 → 320.66
    • Breast milk is being redistributed from each according to their ability to each according to their need. #446
    • High school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate. #504
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February 16th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 5,673rd in the world and 319th in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
    • The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction. #342
    • The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #551
    • There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. #138
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February 17th, 2017



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 190th in the world and 4th in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 94.8 Years.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Least Corrupt Governments.
    • Relations with Dเgu๓ have warmed from frosty to chilly. #610
    • Earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss. #672
    • National parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. #297
    • Companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave. #304
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Good to Very Good.
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February 19th, 2017

    • Heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste. #156
    • Retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. #122
    • The mob and the police have recently had numerous clashes in the back alleys of Divine Cervine's cities due to the government's steadfast anti-casino stance. #108
    • Betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant. #371

February 21st, 2017

    • Several underground organisations in Divine Cervine have recently been spreading discontent throughout the populace about not being able to vote. #177 dismissed
    • The Enchanted Wildwood of Sacred Fauna has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #518

February 22nd, 2017

    • Refugees from other nations are flocking to Divine Cervine's border. #047
    • The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The The Enchanted Wildwood of Sacred Fauna Times is sold out. #275
    • Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #164

February 23rd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 817th in the world and 29th in Lazarus for Highest Workforce Participation Rate, with 90.52 Workforce Participation Rate.
    • Space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space. #097
    • The nation has nearly as many history museums as Divine Deerlings. #637
    • Queen Arbeaone panders to nontraditional families. #432
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February 24th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 7,786th in the world and 301st in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 297.91 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
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February 25th, 2017

    •The constant playing of Merry Birthday on Divine Cervinean radio has led to calls for the song to be classified as a crime against humanity. #500 lowers Income Equality 100.00 → 99.41, increases Wealth Gaps
    • Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #661
    • Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #491
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.

February 26th, 2017

    • Several underground organisations in Divine Cervine have recently been spreading discontent throughout the populace about not being able to vote. #177 dismissed
    • The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances. #677
    • Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #602

February 27th, 2017

    • Children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "Love and peace!" as a way of life. #190

February 28th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 209th in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Best Weather, with 933 Meters Of Sunlight.
    • Graffiti graces every city's streets. #114
    • There is a dearth of space for new houses. #331
    • Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk. #675
    • Divine Cervine has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world. #263
    • People seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy. #582
    • Divine Cervine published "The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2017 March - April" (Factbook: History).

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