by Max Barry

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The Benevolent Queendom of
Democratic Socialists

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

1

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2017 March - April

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History
2017

March - April

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March 1st, 2017

    • Businesses are forced to bring all work back within the nation's borders. #305
    • Suburban backyards are seized by the government and turned into national parks. #457
    • The endangered saltwater humpback purple fairy deer is only seen in captivity programs. #547
    • Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #239

March 2nd, 2017


March 3rd, 2017

    • Illegal hunting is rife after veganism was recently made compulsory. #205 lowers Intelligence 180.39 → 179.92 -0.26%, Civil Rights 68.95 → 64.86 -5.9%
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
    • Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #276
    • Most of the nation's wealthy aristocrats are dentists. #167

March 4th, 2017

    • Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #071
    • Divine Cervine gained the banner Out There by becoming so technologically advanced, they don't even have a name for it.
    • Anti-government web sites are springing up. #037

March 5th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 89th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 174.28 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
    • Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #062
    • The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned. #145
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March 6th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 201st in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Best Weather, with 956 Meters Of Sunlight.
    • Animal liberationists receive government funding to break into animal research labs. #502
    • A vast monorail network carries people all over the country. #083
    • Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #293
    • The Divine Cervinean Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation. #448
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March 7th, 2017



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 200th in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Best Weather, with 956 Meters Of Sunlight.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Influential.
    • Excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. #659
    • Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #543
    • The newspaper industry is subsidised by the government in order to keep it afloat. #269
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March 8th, 2017

    • The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. #003
    • Parties that are too noisy are broken up to prevent disturbing wildlife. #681 lowers Niceness 119.50 → 119.31 -0.16%, Culture 296.00 → 295.00 -0.34%, Cheerfulness 84.01 → 83.69 -0.38%
    • The new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play. #385
    • Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation. #516 increases Rudeness 5.79 → 5.81 +0.35%

March 9th, 2017

    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Influential.
    • Spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches. #540
    • The government is giving peace a chance. #312

March 10th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 509th in the world and 21st in Lazarus for Largest Governments, scoring 65.35 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.
    • The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #152
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March 11th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 14,169th in the world and 322nd in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 661.70790984 Days.
    • The once prosperous capital is in utter decline. #497 increases Economic Freedom -99.38 → -95.25, Wealth Gaps 1.01 → 1.05, decreases Income Equality 99.41 → 95.56
    • Parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads. #148
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March 12th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 425th in the world and 16th in Lazarus for Healthiest Citizens, with 36.64 Bananas Ingested Per Day.
    • Queen Arbeaone's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. #683
    • Prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators. #069
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March 13th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 24,792.19 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
    • Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #616
    • Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned purple fairy deerball fields. #415
    • Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #505
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March 14th, 2017

    • The nation's leading climatologists are investigating animal flatulence in efforts to reduce methane emissions. #495
    • The government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. #198
    • Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #276
    • National parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. #297

March 15th, 2017

    • Educators and parents alike are allowing children to view the internet again after violent videos were purged. #550
    • The government has declared victoria over the cheese menace. #507
    • Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. #353
    • Unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves. #667

March 16th, 2017

    • Any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist. #394
    • The government is promoting multicultural values with the new 'Just Be Nice, OK?' initiative. #262
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from Democratic Socialists to Liberal Democratic Socialists.
    • Divine Cervine changed the national capital to "Enchanted Wildwood".

March 17th, 2017

    • The nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms. #226
    • Invading armies are given hard glares for their cheek. #244

March 18th, 2017

    • Military funding has been stripped back. #014
    • Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation. #516

March 19th, 2017

    • Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. #121

March 20th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 250th in the world and 8th in Lazarus for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 17,365.39 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.
    • The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #419
    • It's rare to find an unchewed pencil. #689
    • Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #626
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March 21st, 2017

    • Schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes. #200
    • Elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-luminous orb mansions. #127

March 22nd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 479th in the world and 21st in Lazarus for Largest Governments, scoring 65.92 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.
    • Fashion magazine covers finally display realistic body images following photo-manipulation becoming illegal. #613
    • The phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon. #628
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March 23rd, 2017

    • Nude art is becoming wildly popular. #052
    • Earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss. #672
    • Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade. #685
    • The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #135
    • The nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics. #261

March 24th, 2017

    • Advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines. #548

March 25th, 2017

    • Pro-democracy regime change has been avoided. #359
    • An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc. #577 lowers Welfare, Public Education, Eco-Friendliness, and Public Healthcare
    • Mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest growing field. #373

March 26th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 5,406th in the world and 236th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 188,138.3 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Angry crowds formed yesterday around government offices in Divine Cervine, demanding the reinstatement of free and fair elections. #125 dismissed
    • The Museum of Soybeans is the cultural heart of the nation. #581
    • A primitive society is being eroded as its youth flock to the modern world. #129
    • Artists are pillars of society. #124
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March 27th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,329th in the world and 41st in Lazarus for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 12,168.99 on the Gilded Widget Scale.
    • The police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. #185
    • Birth rates have hit an all-time low. #364
    • Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #630
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March 28th, 2017

    • Popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. #565

March 29th, 2017

    • An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. #218
    • Getting an abortion takes less hassle than writing a letter. #358
    • Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. #053

March 30th, 2017

    • The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #551
    • Cash-strapped junkies lick rabbits for a cheap high. #676
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
    • The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #222

March 31st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 738th in the world and 23rd in Lazarus for Highest Workforce Participation Rate, with 91.28 Workforce Participation Rate.
    • A new generation of aquariumless hotels are being built under government supervision. #324
    • The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #653
    • Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #491
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from Liberal Democratic Socialists to a Left-wing Utopia.
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April 1st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 172nd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environments, with 6,126.58 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.
    • Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. #598
    • Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #431
    • Glamping Divine Deerlings won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi. #706
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April 2nd, 2017

    • Every workday begins with group therapy. #496
    • Noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law. #338

April 3rd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 838th in the world and 29th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 186,099.22 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #440
    • Same-sex marriages are increasingly common. #001
    • Organ donation is compulsory. #026
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from a Left-wing Utopia to Liberal Democratic Socialists.
    • Enchanted Wildwood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #518

April 4th, 2017

    • Workers have seized control of the economy. #339
    • The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. #003
    • Groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol. #490

April 5th, 2017

    • It is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma. #705

April 6th, 2017

    • Community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common. #709
    • All statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers. #701
    • The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #636
    • The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. #035

April 7th, 2017

    • Flu research is commonly shut down for fear of creating a superbug. #708
    • Urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts. #579

April 8th, 2017

    • The number of students attending university has reached a record high. #209
    • The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances. #677
    • Orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. #638

April 9th, 2017

    • Advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines. #548
    • The government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned. #650
    • Politicians constantly ring their voters to remind them how good a job they're doing. #289

April 10th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 34th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 24,865.74 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
    • All beauty contests have been banned. #101
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
    • Illegal hunting is rife after veganism was recently made compulsory. #205
    • Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #632
    • Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #602

April 11th, 2017

    • High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #018

April 12th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 70th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 36,958.66 on the Edu-tellignceฎ Test Score.
    • The government is using tax revenues to provide jobs for the poor. #255
    • Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #556
    • Suburban backyards are seized by the government and turned into national parks. #457
    • Divine Cervine's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand. #093
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April 13th, 2017

    • Pushy mums tell their kids to be doctors and engineers but steer them away from being penniless lawyers. #601
    • In this vegetarian nation the delicious smell of roasted meat is oddly commonplace. #625
    • The mining industry has taken a hit from tighter environmental regulations. #049

April 14th, 2017

    • Earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss. #672
    • 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past. #639

April 15th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 794th in the world and 25th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 194.64 Quips Per Hour.
    • Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #590
    • The government funds large training centres to turn purple fairy deer into functioning members of society. #133
    • Libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars. #099
    • Citizens wishing to leave the country must surrender half their wealth to the government. #283
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April 16th, 2017

    • Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #149
    • Divine Cervine's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. #237

April 17th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 67th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 37,042.79 on the Edu-tellignceฎ Test Score.
    • Students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations. #522
    • People seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy. #582
    • Queen Arbeaone panders to nontraditional families. #432
    • Divine Cervine's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region. #061
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April 18th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 13,636th in the world and 311th in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 699.70788552 Days.
    • The police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. #185
    • Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #632
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April 19th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 2,023rd in the world and 54th in Lazarus for Most Secular, with 86.41 Atheism Rate.
    • There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. #138
    • The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #222
    • Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #600
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April 20th, 2017

    • Space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space. #097
    • Drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. #449
    • The national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall. #341
    • National parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. #297

April 21st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 5,575th in the world and 303rd in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
    • Sections of the police receive paramilitary training. #455
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April 24th, 2017

    • The nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms. #226
    • The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #633
    • Divine Cervine gained the banner Keeper of the Flame by supporting alternative religions.
    • Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #207
    • Listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases. #410
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
    • Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #661
    • All forms of advertising are banned. #104

April 25th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 151st in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 95.36 Years.
    • Families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain. #699
    • In a baffling press conference Queen Arbeaone proudly dismantled a broken door. #503
    • Research grant proposals read like political diatribes. #523
    • Spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches. #540
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April 26th, 2017

    • An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. #218

April 27th, 2017

    • Citizens applying for their first jobs face fierce competition from the homeless. #251

April 28th, 2017

    • The Museum of Soybeans is the cultural heart of the nation. #581

April 29th, 2017

    • Builders across Divine Cervine are blocked up with orders for new public loos. #525
    • The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #551

April 30th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 2,379th in the world and 37th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 97.88 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
    • The new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play. #385
    • Companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave. #304
    • The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Enchanted Wildwood Times is sold out. #275
    • The nation has an international reputation for compassion. #036
    • Divine Cervine published "The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2017 May - June" (Factbook: History).

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