by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics

Advertisement

The Benevolent Queendom of
Democratic Socialists

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

1

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2017 July - August

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History
2017

July - August

_____

July 1st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 2,432nd in the world and 136th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 11,826.76 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.
    • The Museum of Soybeans is the cultural heart of the nation. #581
    • In a baffling press conference Queen Arbeaone proudly dismantled a broken door. #503
    • Sections of the police receive paramilitary training. #455
    • Pro-democracy regime change has been avoided. #359
    _

July 2nd, 2017

    • The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. #003
    • Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. #353
    • Fashion magazine covers finally display realistic body images following photo-manipulation becoming illegal. #613

July 3rd, 2017

    • Workers have seized control of the economy. #339
    • Queen Arbeaone panders to nontraditional families. #432
    • Community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common. #709

July 4th, 2017



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 63rd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 38,412.27 on the Edu-tellignceฎ Test Score.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Publishing Industry.
    • Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #543
    • Droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. #321
    • School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #501
    • Authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets. #758
    • The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #551
    _
    _

July 5th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 63rd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 38,439.92 on the Edu-tellignceฎ Test Score.
    • The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #222
    • Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #491
    • Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #440
    _
    _

July 6th, 2017

    • Some Divine Cervinean athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. #573
    • Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation. #516
    • The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #633

July 7th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,648th in the world and 71st in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,408.77 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
    • Drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. #449
    • Advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines. #548
    • High school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate. #504
    _
    _

July 8th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 124th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 95.86 Years.
    • The nation's war memorials are being torn down and replaced with peace gardens. #378
    • School children asked "what is two times two?" are likely to form a symposium to discuss how different answers make them feel. #668
    • Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #431
    • Betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant. #371
    • While effusively praising Divine Cervine’s leadership and bowing repeatedly, a delegation has humbly requested that the government take a more “modernistic” view in the future. #011 dismissed

July 9th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 14th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 553.45 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
    • The nation is ravaged by daily union strikes. #016
    • 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past. #639 lowers Inclusiveness 553.45 → 553.35
    • High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #018
    _
    _

July 10th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 28th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 26,758.57 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
    • Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. #598
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from Democratic Socialists to a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise.
    • Most of the nation's wealthy aristocrats are dentists. #167
    _
    _

July 11th, 2017

    • There's never enough space in space. #754
    • Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #654
    • Terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports. #670

July 13th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 187th in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 103.38 Effective Tax Rate.
    • Cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting. #642
    • Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. #493
    • Illegal hunting is rife after veganism was recently made compulsory. #205
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise to Democratic Socialists. lowers Civil Rights 72.48 → 68.67 -5.3%
    • The most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita. #763
    • Animal liberationists receive government funding to break into animal research labs. #502

July 14th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,387th in the world and 195th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 203,829.82 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Refugees from other nations are flocking to Divine Cervine's border. #047
    • Relations with Dเgu๓ have warmed from frosty to chilly. #610
    • Elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-luminous orb mansions. #127
    _
    _

July 15th, 2017

    • All beauty contests have been banned. #101 increases Death Rate 15.96 → 15.97 +0.06%

July 16th, 2017

    • Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #239
    • Invading armies are given hard glares for their cheek. #244
    • Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #485

July 17th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 260th in the world and 9th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 193.86 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.
    • Nude art is becoming wildly popular. #052
    • The government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly. #644
    _
    _
    _

July 18th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 15,177th in the world and 419th in Lazarus for Most Influential, scoring 1,579 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.
    • UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. #081
    • Flu research is commonly shut down for fear of creating a superbug. #708
    • The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea. #768
    _
    _

July 19th, 2017

    • The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. #003
    • The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #636
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
    • Children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet. #365

July 20th, 2017

    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Publishing Industry.
    • Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #590
    _

July 21st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 290th in the world and 14th in Lazarus for Healthiest Citizens, with 40.8 Bananas Ingested Per Day.
    • Mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest growing field. #373
    • Libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars. #099
    • Excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. #659
    • Queen Arbeaone can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees. #756
    _

July 22nd, 2017

    • Earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss. #672
    • Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #557

July 23rd, 2017

    • Arbitration is mightier than the sword. #131
    • The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #135

July 24th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 52nd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 201.22 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
    • Turning eighteen is often referred to as the 'Age of Aquarius'. #510
    • Elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-luminous orb mansions. #127
    _
    _
    _

July 25th, 2017

    • Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #276
    • People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight. #056
    • Judicial robes are the country's hottest fashion trend. #765
    • Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #293

July 26th, 2017

    • Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #149
    • Most of the nation's wealthy aristocrats are dentists. #167

July 27th, 2017



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 5,287th in the world and 272nd in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Influential.
    • Several underground organisations in Divine Cervine have recently been spreading discontent throughout the populace about not being able to vote. #177 dismissed
    • Pushy mums tell their kids to be doctors and engineers but steer them away from being penniless lawyers. #601
    • UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. #081
    _
    _
    _
    _

July 28th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 2,110th in the world and 102nd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 12,305.34 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.
    • The mining industry has taken a hit from tighter environmental regulations. #049
    • An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc. #577
    • Sex changes are routinely performed at Divine Cervine's hospitals. #066
    _
    _

July 29th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 47th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 33,418.04 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
    • The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances. #677
    • The nation has an international reputation for compassion. #036
    • Debates on whether toilet seats should be left up or down are increasingly commonplace. #538
    • Divine Cervine has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world. #263
    _

July 30th, 2017

    • The phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon. #628
    • The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #419

July 31st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,516th in the world and 41st in Lazarus for Most Secular, with 90.52 Atheism Rate.
    • Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #556
    • Listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases. #410
    • Ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward. #728
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Secular.
    _

_____

August 1st, 2017

    • Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. #121
    • Companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave. #304
    • The government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. #589
    • The Divine Cervinean Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation. #448

August 2nd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 121st in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 95.99 Years.
    • The endangered saltwater humpback purple fairy deer is only seen in captivity programs. #547
    • Glamping Divine Deerlings won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi. #706
    _
    _
    _

August 3rd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 2,120th in the world and 112th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 12,246.9 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.
    • Students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations. #522
    • Anti-government web sites are springing up. #037
    • Cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting. #642
    _
    _

August 4th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 294th in the world and 8th in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 89.28 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.
    • Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #600
    • Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume. #689
    • The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #551
    _
    _

August 5th, 2017

    • Space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space. #097
    • The frighteningly efficient Divine Cervinean economy is worth a remarkable 1,000 trillion luminous orbs a year.
    • People seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy. #582
    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education.
    • There's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. #739

August 6th, 2017

    • The newspaper industry is subsidised by the government in order to keep it afloat. #269
    • Organ donation is compulsory. #026
    • Retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. #122
    • Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade. #685

August 7th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 126th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environments, with 7,004.54 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.
    • The nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics. #261
    • Queen Arbeaone's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week. #773
    _
    _
    _

August 8th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,573rd in the world and 202nd in Lazarus for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring 30 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.
    • Scientists recently cloned the long-extinct feather-bellied purple fairy deer. #033
    • All statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers. #701
    _
    _
    _

August 9th, 2017

    • Citizens applying for their first jobs face fierce competition from the homeless. #251
    • Sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. #786
    • Invading armies are given hard glares for their cheek. #244

August 10th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 12,166th in the world and 286th in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 814.70781192 Days.
    • Citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages. #115
    • Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #149
    • The nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news. #776
    • Youth call each other types of vegetables in lieu of government-banned racial insults. #767
    • The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Enchanted Wildwood Times is sold out. #275
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from Democratic Socialists to Liberal Democratic Socialists.

August 11th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 127th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environments, with 7,003.74 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.
    • Serial commas clarify the relationship between one's lackeys, the taxpayers, and kinsfolk. #721
    • In this vegetarian nation the delicious smell of roasted meat is oddly commonplace. #625
    _
    _
    _

August 12th, 2017

    • The government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles. #029
    • The nation has nearly as many history museums as Divine Deerlings. #637
    • Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #654
    • The government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. #198

August 14th, 2017

    • Busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets. #785
    • Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation. #516
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Secular.
    • It is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma. #705
    • Schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes. #200
    • Fashion magazine covers finally display realistic body images following photo-manipulation becoming illegal. #613

August 15th, 2017

    • Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #440
    • The police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. #185
    • The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #152
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Public Transport.
    • The nation is currently revamping its entire education system. #064

August 16th, 2017

    • The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. #035
    • An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. #218
    • Suburban backyards are seized by the government and turned into national parks. #457

August 17th, 2017

    • The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #222

August 18th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 63rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Pacifist, with 367.71 Cheeks Turned Per Day.
    • Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned purple fairy deerball fields. #415
    • Children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "Love and peace!" as a way of life. #190
    _
    _
    _

August 19th, 2017

    • Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #164
    • Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #626

August 20th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 10,208th in the world and 452nd in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 11,058.24 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.
    • People faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations. #092
    • Unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves. #667
    _
    _
    _

August 21st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 581st in the world and 17th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 219.66 Quips Per Hour.
    _
    _
    _
    _
    _

August 22nd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 112th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 96.14 Years.
    • Artists are pillars of society. #124
    • The government has declared victoria over the cheese menace. #507
    • A vast monorail network carries people all over the country. #083
    • Queen Arbeaone panders to nontraditional families. #432
    • The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned. #145
    • In a baffling press conference Queen Arbeaone proudly dismantled a broken door. #507

August 23rd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 286th in the world and 11th in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 179.86 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.
    • Citizens wishing to leave the country must surrender half their wealth to the government. #283
    • Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #062
    • Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #661
    • Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #505
    _

August 24th, 2017

    • Divine Cervine's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand. #093
    • A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. #750

August 25th, 2017

    • Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #071
    • Any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist. #394
    • Families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain. #699

August 26th, 2017

    • Every workday begins with group therapy. #496
    • Newly synthesized elements half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names. #798

August 27th, 2017

    • Prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators. #069
    • RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #624
    • Enchanted Wildwood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #518
    • Divine Cervine's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region. #061
    • Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements. #492

August 28th, 2017

    • Children crying over dropped ice creams are offered high doses of experimental antidepressants. #576
    • Popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. #565
    • Urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts. #579

August 29th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 860th in the world and 25th in Lazarus for Least Corrupt Governments, with 97.14 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.
    • The amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded. #720
    _
    _
    _
    _

August 30th, 2017



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 246th in the world and 11th in Lazarus for Healthiest Citizens, with 42.58 Bananas Ingested Per Day.
    • Cogitators and mass debaters are skiving off work to hang around the National Symposium Park. #803
    • Drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. #449
    • Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #630
    • The government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned. #650
    • Children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet. #365
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Secular.
    _
    _

August 31st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 223rd in the world and 8th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 201.43 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.
    • Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #616
    • Groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol. #490
    • Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk. #675
    • Divine Cervine published "The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2017 September - October" (Factbook: History).

Report