by Max Barry

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The Benevolent Queendom of
Democratic Socialists

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

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The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2018 January - February

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History
2018

January - February

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January 1st, 2018

    • Mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest growing field.#373
    • Supervisors in Divine Cervine commonly tie bells on their necks to alert employees of their presence. #732
    • Grumbling early morning commuters bemoan having to travel to work in the dark. #821
    • There is a dearth of space for new houses. #331
    • Research grant proposals read like political diatribes. #523

January 2nd, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 155th in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 218.02 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.
    • Sex changes are routinely performed at Divine Cervine's hospitals. #066
    • Youth call each other types of vegetables in lieu of government-banned racial insults. #767
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
    • Military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies. #663
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January 3rd, 2018

    • Birth rates have hit an all-time low. #364
    • The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #551

January 4th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 347th in the world and 9th in Lazarus for Highest Workforce Participation Rate, with 96.21 Workforce Participation Rate.
    • Arbitration is mightier than the sword. #131
    • Queen Arbeaone can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees. #756
    • Funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience. #583
    • Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #602
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January 6th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,275th in the world and 53rd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,787.88 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
    • Suburban backyards are seized by the government and turned into national parks. #457
    • The government spends millions of € luminous orbs every year prosecuting spammers. #094
    • Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms fell from Superb to Excellent.
    • The national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall. #341
    • The government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly. #644

January 7th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 72nd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 97.11 Years.
    • Queen Arbeaone panders to nontraditional families. #432
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January 8th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 58th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 4,582.77 Tourists Per Hour.
    • The nation's war memorials are being torn down and replaced with peace gardens. #378
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January 9th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 10th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 653.1 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
    • Drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. #449
    • Judicial robes are the country's hottest fashion trend. #765
    • Drones are unable to lift the weight of their accompanying paperwork. #849
    • All statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers. #701
    • Flu research is commonly shut down for fear of creating a superbug. #708
    • Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #626

January 10th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 167th in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 19,763.03 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.
    • Children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life. #190
    • Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade. #685
    • Internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens. #875
    • The national policy allowing Public Protest has been cancelled. The right to unfettered public protest is enshrined in law.
    • Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #149

January 11th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 50th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 159.18 Average Smiles Per Day.
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January 13th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,491st in the world and 149th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 387.49 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
    • High school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate. #504
    • Enchanted Wildwood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #518
    • Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #431
    • Relations with Dΰguσ have warmed from frosty to chilly. #610
    • The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. #035

January 15th, 2018

    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Popular Tourist Destination.
    • The number of students attending university has reached a record high. #209
    • Families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain. #699
    • The endangered saltwater humpback purple fairy deer is only seen in captivity programs. #547
    • The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #653
    • The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances. #677
    • Purple fairy deer have more rights than the average citizen. #060
    • Authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets. #758

January 17th, 2018

    • National parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. #297
    • Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #630
    • Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume. #689
    • Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. #598
    • Popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. #565
    • There's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. #739

January 18th, 2018

    • An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. #218
    • The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction. #342

January 20th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 32nd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 231.44 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
    • Retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. #122
    • Elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-€ luminous orb mansions. #127
    • Divine Cervine's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. #237
    • Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #505
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January 21st, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 437th in the world and 12th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 246.19 Quips Per Hour.
    • Workers have seized control of the economy. #339
    • It is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow. #813
    • Listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases. #410
    • Cogitators and mass debaters are skiving off work to hang around the National Symposium Park. #803
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January 23rd, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,463rd in the world and 149th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 389.04 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
    • The amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded. #720
    • The nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents. #807
    • The nation has nearly as many history museums as Divine Deerlings. #637
    • There are six more weeks of winter if a northerner sees her shadow. #733
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January 25th, 2018

    • Advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines. #548
    • The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused. #462
    • The government funds large training centres to turn purple fairy deer into functioning members of society. #133
    • Betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant. #371

January 26th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 171st in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Healthiest Citizens, with 46.88 Bananas Ingested Per Day.
    • The government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned. #650
    • Printing out government documents requires the approval of at least three admins. #800
    • Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #632
    • The newspaper industry is subsidised by the government in order to keep it afloat. #269
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January 27th, 2018

    • Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #293
    • Explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends. #880
    • The Fashion Channel can only be viewed on widescreen TVs. #887
    • The nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news. #776

January 28th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,296th in the world and 47th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,710.44 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
    • Pro-democracy regime change has been avoided. #359
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January 29th, 2018




    • Divine Cervine is ranked 427th in the world and 12th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 248.08 Quips Per Hour.
    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments.
    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education.
    • Several underground organisations in Divine Cervine have recently been spreading discontent throughout the populace about not being able to vote. #177 dismissed
    • School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #501
    • Employers are finding it hard to screen candidates now that everyone gets A grades in their exams. #830
    • No one is quite sure what many government officials look like. #852
    • Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #661
    • Children aren't allowed to chew their pencils until they get home from school. #882 decreases Welfare 28,933.65 → 28,899.93 -0.12%
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January 30th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 183rd in the world and 4th in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 193.42 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.
    • Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #239
    • High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #018
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February 1st, 2018

    • People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight. #056
    • RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #624
    • 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners. #892

February 2nd, 2018

    • Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #491
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
    • The nation has an international reputation for compassion. #036

February 3rd, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,295th in the world and 48th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,719 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
    • Community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common. #709
    • The nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms. #226
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February 4th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 19th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 28,923.35 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
    • Angry crowds formed yesterday around government offices in Divine Cervine, demanding the reinstatement of free and fair elections. #125 dismissed
    • Almost all of Divine Cervine's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #264
    • Organ donation is compulsory. #026
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February 5th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 421st in the world and 12th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 248.81 Quips Per Hour.
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February 7th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 10,720th in the world and 255th in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 994.70769672 Days.
    • While effusively praising Divine Cervine’s leadership and bowing repeatedly, a delegation has humbly requested that the government take a more “modernistic” view in the future. #011 dismissed
    • Sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. #786
    • Sections of the police receive paramilitary training. #455
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February 8th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 105th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 105.47 Effective Tax Rate.
    • The government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles. #029
    • Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #590
    • There's never enough space in space. #754
    • Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #023
    • The experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Purple Fairy Deer Dung" has been declared a national treasure. #856

February 10th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 41st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 36,516.53 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
    • Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #616
    • Nude art is becoming wildly popular. #052
    • Some Divine Cervinean athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. #573
    • Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #556
    • Citizens applying for their first jobs face fierce competition from the homeless. #251
    • The government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. #198

February 12th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 31st in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 234.83 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
    • The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. #003
    • Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. #493
    • It is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma. #705
    • 3D printed organs are a breath of new life for the sick and elderly. #850
    • Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #071

February 14th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 330th in the world and 9th in Lazarus for Highest Workforce Participation Rate, with 96.35 Workforce Participation Rate.
    • Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation. #516
    • A vast monorail network carries people all over the country. #083
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February 15th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 13,895th in the world and 346th in Lazarus for Most Influential, scoring 2,003 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.
    • Unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves. #667
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February 16th, 2018

    • Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #543
    • People faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations. #092
    • Cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy. #811
    • Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. #897
    • The government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster. #904

February 18th, 2018

    • A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. #750
    • All beauty contests have been banned. #101
    • Pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty. #858
    • Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #557
    • Women have a strange proclivity for dressing up as caped weasels. #838

February 20th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 419th in the world and 15th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 233,156.41 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Relations with Dΰguσ have warmed from frosty to chilly. #610
    • Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #654
    • The government is giving peace a chance. #312
    • Drug deals return to the streets as legions of undercover officers stalk the dark web. #902
    • Any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist. #394
    • The most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita. #763
    • Most of the nation's wealthy aristocrats are dentists. #167 Increases Public Healthcare +0.64% but Lowers Health 47.72 → 47.67 -0.10%

February 21st, 2018

    • Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #485

February 23rd, 2018

    • The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned. #145
    • Prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators. #069
    • Flu research is commonly shut down for fear of creating a superbug. #708
    • Ten-year-olds are applying for lemonade stand operator licences. #772
    • Police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds. #907

February 24th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 178th in the world and 4th in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 195.24 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.
    • Birth rates have hit an all-time low. #364
    • Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements. #492
    • Divine Cervine changed its national motto from "Widen our compassion to embrace all living beings" to "Tomorrow hasn't been so terrible".
    • The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. #908
    • Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms rose from Excellent to Superb.

February 25th, 2018

    • Droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. #321
    • Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. #121
    • Hidden bedroom-cams are installed to catch mothers doing their kids' homework. #910
    • Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #207
    • The national policy allowing Public Protest has been reinstalled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.
    • People seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy. #582

February 26th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 7,715th in the world and 398th in Lazarus for Highest Economic Output, with 1,417 trillion Standard Monetary Units.
    • Queen Arbeaone's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. #683
    • Urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts. #579
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February 27th, 2018

    • Internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens. #875
    • A government program is underway to revitalize Divine Cervine's beaches. #031
    • Conspiracy theorists allege that the government is spying on them through their carbon monoxide detectors. #834
    • The nation's ambassadors often conduct their business in jail cells. #912

February 28th, 2018

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