The Federal Republic of Drunken Seal Islands is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by jizzmaster zero with an even hand, and notable for its daily referendums, avant-garde cinema, and restrictive gun laws. The quiet, industrious population of 12.449 billion Sealsmen have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bogania. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Drunken Seal Islandsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,655 trillion Krangs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 132,997 Krangs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Whipping posts and lashes have been transferred to the Historical Museum of Drunken Seal Islandsian Embarrassments, spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches, the nation's democracy attracts huddled masses yearning to breathe free, and children are terrified that the 'flying police monster' will come to take them away in the night. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Drunken Seal Islands's national animal is the Drop Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Boganism.

Drunken Seal Islands is ranked 4,661^st in the world and 148^th in The East Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2,338.03 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.