The Federal Republic of Drunken Seal Islands is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by jizzmaster zero with an even hand, and renowned for its public floggings, irreverence towards religion, and restrictive gun laws. The quiet, industrious population of 12.023 billion Sealsmen are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bogania. The average income tax rate is 94.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Drunken Seal Islandsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,639 trillion Krangs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 136,349 Krangs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Both criminals and civilians are DOA, schoolchildren must pass a six-month Ethics and Safety Committee Assessment before they are allowed to mix baking soda and vinegar, town nameplates frequently raise giggles from passing tourists, and artists are pillars of society. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Drunken Seal Islands's national animal is the Drop Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Boganism.

Drunken Seal Islands is ranked 232,183^rd in the world and 8,755^th in The East Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -15.3 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.