The Federal Republic of Drunken Seal Islands is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by jizzmaster zero with an even hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, ubiquitous missile silos, and compulsory military service. The compassionate population of 8.358 billion Sealsmen are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 89.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Drunken Seal Islandsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,041 trillion Krangs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 124,658 Krangs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The 'kind of scrawny' 500 meter hurdle is a popular event, it is well recognised that you can't sustain communism without a bit of spirit, students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework, and the fate of the world literally rests on jizzmaster zero's fingers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Drunken Seal Islands's national animal is the Drop Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Boganism.

Drunken Seal Islands is ranked 13,435^th in the world and 403^rd in The East Pacific for Most Secular, with 77.51 Atheism Rate.