Population | 26.702 billion |
Capital | יְרוּשָׁלַיִם |
Leader | Benjamin Satanyahu |
Faith | Satanism |
Currency | שקל |
Animal | gazelle |
The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, ubiquitous missile silos, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 26.702 billion EretzIsraelians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.
The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, with Defense also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.
The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 23,479 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is a breathtaking 879,318 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,202,606 per year while the poor average 8,336, a ratio of 984 to 1.
It is a common belief that a sport isn't sport if there are no decapitations, vacationing EretzIsraelians expect to be treated as royalty, old folks yearn for the days when young people saw bloodthirsty death matches with their own eyes instead of through a screen, and a death threat has replaced 'hello' as an official greeting in the nation. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.
EretzIsrael is ranked 2,785th in the world and 66th in The North Pacific for Most Stationary, with 3,842.705874 days.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, a death threat has replaced 'hello' as an official greeting in the nation.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, old folks yearn for the days when young people saw bloodthirsty death matches with their own eyes instead of through a screen.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, vacationing EretzIsraelians expect to be treated as royalty.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, it is a common belief that a sport isn't sport if there are no decapitations.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, murder is sanctioned if the legal paperwork is filled out correctly.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the nation's infamous boot camp is more brutal than most battlefields.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, if foreigners can hit a spittoon from five paces they get a free holiday to EretzIsrael.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the government keeps introducing new foreign species to combat the previous ones it has introduced.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, shanty towns are forming in the suburbs of major cities.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, even snitches get stitches.