by Max Barry

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Rudest Citizens: 7thMost Armed: 61stHighest Crime Rates: 65th
The Christmas Planes of
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Eternal Dam Nation

Population5.234 billion

CapitalNonya Damn Business Conglomerate
Faithi don't give a damn


The Christmas Planes of Eternal Dam Nation is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by dickolas with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, suspicion of poets, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 5.234 billion bois live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nonya Damn Business Conglomerate. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Eternally Damned economy, worth a remarkable 1,919 trillion damns a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 366,649 damns, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,391,673 per year while the poor average 3,843, a ratio of 882 to 1.

Home education can sometimes be a load of bullocks, baiting is a national sport, tabloids coo over Dickolas's expected child, and high school band practice is often crashed by technicolor-clad ravers. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Eternal Dam Nation's national animal is the Cow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is i don't give a damn.

Eternal Dam Nation is ranked 87,128th in the world and 2,476th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 2,125.11 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Rudest Citizens: 7thMost Armed: 61stHighest Crime Rates: 65thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 71stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 79thLargest Retail Industry: 83rdFattest Citizens: 107thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 131stMost Avoided: 180thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 180thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 192ndMost Rebellious Youth: 297thHighest Disposable Incomes: 344thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 601stLargest Gambling Industry: 677thMost Scientifically Advanced: 987thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,003rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,003rdHighest Average Incomes: 1,031stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,166thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,249thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,340thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,344thLargest Mining Sector: 1,660thMost Pro-Market: 1,924thTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,187thLargest Information Technology Sector: 2,388thMost Secular: 2,903rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,143rdLargest Insurance Industry: 3,631stNudest: 5,874thSmartest Citizens: 6,526thLargest Agricultural Sector: 6,654thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 7,085thHighest Economic Output: 7,860thLargest Publishing Industry: 8,336thTop
Most Inclusive: 12,809thMost Politically Free: 12,815thMost Efficient Economies: 14,194thHighest Drug Use: 14,270thLargest Black Market: 17,113thMost Extreme: 19,055th
Rudest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 8th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 8th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 14th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 14th in the regionMost Avoided: 15th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 17th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 20th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 28th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 29th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 30th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 32nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 33rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 39th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 44th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 45th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 49th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 54th in the regionTop
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 60th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 61st in the regionMost Secular: 97th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 119th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 152nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 155th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 168th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 180th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 190th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 199th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 199th in the regionMost Politically Free: 228th in the regionMost Inclusive: 250th in the regionNudest: 259th in the regionTop
Most Extreme: 368th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 408th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, high school band practice is often crashed by technicolor-clad ravers.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, tabloids coo over Dickolas's expected child.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, baiting is a national sport.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, home education can sometimes be a load of bullocks.
  • : Eternal Dam Nation was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Extreme.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, bizarre-looking creatures called 'Cowdogs' dominate wildlife preserves.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, artificial intelligences seeking exciting work are overcome with ennui.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, emergency services don't respond to trailer park fires.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, brazen mayors claim official expenses to pay for their drug habits.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, hit and run driving is no longer a crime - it's the national sport.


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