The Constitutional Monarchy of Free Azell is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by King Jeremy with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, sprawling nuclear power plants, and irreverence towards religion. The cynical population of 5.065 billion Free Azellians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Albany. The average income tax rate is 85.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Free Azellian economy, worth 373 trillion rupees a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Basket Weaving, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 73,724 rupees, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The country routinely whitewashes uncomfortable parts of its history, the new Swan Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls, police are trained in using their steel-capped boots as a tool of law enforcement, and clergy never mention brand names for fear of losing their government subsidies. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Free Azell's national animal is the swan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Free Azell is ranked 82,312^th in the world and 114^th in Conch Kingdom for Most Primitive, scoring -2.21 on the Scary Big Number Scale.