The Federal Republic of Free Canary Islands is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Lennart with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, frequent executions, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working population of 18.747 billion Canary Islanders have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Industry, with Education, Welfare, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seven Federal Districts. The average income tax rate is 37.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Canarian economy, worth a remarkable 2,285 trillion euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 121,916 euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

You can't put down the nation's attitude to pet health, Lennart is too busy listening to praise to get any work done, many marriages go virtually unconsummated, and black tea is only available on the black market. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Free Canary Islands's national animal is the canary, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is freedom.

Free Canary Islands is ranked 59,291^st in the world and 2^nd in Old Guard for Nudest, with 200.25 cheeks per square mile.