The Holy Empire of Goldene Adler is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Kaiser Kurt Von Bismarck with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, infamous sell-swords, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.877 billion Goldene Adlerians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Berlin. The average income tax rate is 96.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Goldene Adlerian economy, worth a remarkable 2,609 trillion Reichsthalers a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 379,424 Reichsthalers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

The military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles', meat-eating is frowned upon, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed, and the nation is renowned abroad for its love of blood and guts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Goldene Adler's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Goldene Adler is ranked 3,372^nd in the world and 1^st in The Association of Fellow Nations for Lowest Crime Rates, with 126.93 law-abiding acts per hour.