The Republic of Guinea Pig Horde XXXIX is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its parental licensing program, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed population of 7.77 billion Guinea Pig Horde XXXIXians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 35.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Guinea Pig Horde XXXIXian economy, worth 477 trillion pesos a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 61,482 pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

A handful of megacorporations own every "craft brewery" in the nation, stony-faced prosecutors play loud gangster rap music during court proceedings, money can't buy happiness but it can buy immunity to prosecution, and the new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Guinea Pig Horde XXXIX's national animal is the dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Guinea Pig Horde XXXIX is ranked 92,803^rd in the world and 4,855^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 66.79 law-abiding acts per hour.