by Max Barry

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Largest Mining Sector: 6th Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8th Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 11th
The Holy Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists
For the blessed nation!
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population13.746 billion

Animalyellow jacket

The Holy Empire of Haedlia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, disturbing lack of elderly people, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.746 billion Haedlians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Spirituality, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. The average income tax rate is 98.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Haedlian economy, worth a remarkable 8,835 trillion newcoins a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, Arms Manufacturing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is a breathtaking 642,782 newcoins, with the richest citizens earning 8.0 times as much as the poorest.

There's a bright dawn ahead for Haedlia, looting and pillaging are now considered vital intelligence-gathering activities, dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming, and fitness to teach sport is proven by urinating the furthest up a wall. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Haedlia's national animal is the yellow jacket, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Haedlia is ranked 165,264th in the world and 6,756th in the West Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 39.23 on the Human Development Index.

Largest Mining Sector: 6thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11thMost Devout: 14thMost Corrupt Governments: 17thMost Ignorant Citizens: 21stLargest Insurance Industry: 33rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 41stMost Avoided: 48thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 53rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 66thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 81stMost Primitive: 82ndLargest Black Market: 83rdMost Subsidized Industry: 88thHighest Average Incomes: 90thLargest Agricultural Sector: 133rdFattest Citizens: 241stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 285thLowest Crime Rates: 317thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 418thLargest Governments: 460thHighest Economic Output: 471stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 554thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 569thRudest Citizens: 916thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,048thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,511thTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,468thMost Efficient Economies: 2,790thMost Stationary: 3,459thMost Conservative: 6,875thTop
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 8,537thMost Influential: 9,505thLargest Populations: 12,914thMost Authoritarian: 14,722ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 16,514th
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 6th in the regionFattest Citizens: 6th in the regionLargest Governments: 6th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 10th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 11th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 20th in the regionRudest Citizens: 21st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 31st in the regionMost Stationary: 43rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 46th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 48th in the regionTop
Largest Populations: 103rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 279th in the regionMost Influential: 303rd in the regionMost Conservative: 330th in the regionTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 363rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 464th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 599th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, fitness to teach sport is proven by urinating the furthest up a wall.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, looting and pillaging are now considered vital intelligence-gathering activities.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, there's a bright dawn ahead for Haedlia.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, screams of citizens being "re-educated" echo throughout the rural regions of Haedlia.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, citizens sport solarium-kissed tans that are perfectly even except for the occasional melanoma.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, the National Art Gallery's newest exhibit is the 500-year-old Luna Lisa.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, mandatory patriotic themes make even the newest movies feel like remakes.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, many believe that the only good yellow jacket is a dead yellow jacket.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, waste is frequently shipped to other countries.


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