by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 8thLargest Agricultural Sector: 4,330thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9,241st
The Eternal Empire of
Corporate Police State
Out of Fear, Love
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population5.63 billion

CapitalTeddy Bear Town

AnimalHouse Cat

The Eternal Empire of Happiness- is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its rum-swilling pirates, zero percent divorce rate, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.63 billion Happy People are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Teddy Bear Town. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 56.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Happy economy, worth 521 trillion Balls a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 92,570 Balls, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 392,270 per year while the poor average 14,104, a ratio of 27.8 to 1.

Ships no longer sail as no one wants to encounter Happy pirates, seafood restaurants assure customers 'If it lives in the sea, it's on our menu', Animal Liberationists are regularly arrested, and Happy farm salmon are known for being both horribly diseased and remarkably acrobatic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Happiness-'s national animal is the House Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Happiness- is ranked 23,259th in the world and 20th in The Bar on the corner of every region for Largest Mining Sector, scoring 5,573.67 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 8thTop
Largest Agricultural Sector: 4,330thTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 9,241stLargest Welfare Programs: 13,229thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 14,819thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 15,471stMost Devout: 16,428th
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionTop
Largest Agricultural Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 5th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


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