The Queendom of Helsiny is a huge, genial nation, renowned for its stringent health and safety legislation. The devout population of 552 million Helsinyians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shedia. The average income tax rate is 11.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Helsinyian economy, worth 30.3 trillion kalens a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Trout Farming, and Gambling. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 54,944 kalens, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

The government is deliberately installing bloatware onto computers, sex changes are routinely performed at Helsiny's hospitals, the government is seen to favor traditionalist religions, and the banshee wail foretells skies of death. Crime is almost non-existent. Helsiny's national animal is the Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Helsiny is ranked 65,600^th in the world and 7^th in The Region Of Gargery for Healthiest Citizens, with 3.63 Bananas Ingested Per Day.