The Republic of Holy Goo Phlanopia is a colossal, pleasant nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, infamous sell-swords, and fear of technology. The hard-working, devout population of 7.576 billion Holy Goo Phlanopians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare are also considered important, while International Aid and Environment are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.1%.

The strong Holy Goo Phlanopian economy, worth 353 trillion kronor a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Automobile Manufacturing, and Gambling. Average income is 46,595 kronor, with the richest citizens earning 7.5 times as much as the poorest.

Asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals, shopkeepers use microscopes to verify the authenticity of banknotes, and unemployed town criers cry over their drinks. Crime is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Holy Goo Phlanopia's national animal is the sheep, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Holy Goo Phlanopia is ranked 9,432^nd in the world and 437^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 56.95 law-abiding acts per hour.