by Max Barry

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The Mad Surfer - Pilot Edition

March 2018

As it saddens me to see the Mad Islander having been reduced to a state of disrepair, I am going to try to breathe new life into it. How, you may ask? Well, I am not entirely certain, never having edited a newspaper before. I have changed the name in order to distinguish this publication from the original by Aersoldorf. Mostly, I plan to bumble about like a bull in a print shop, conveying to an unsuspecting and likely unaware audience little bits of news of which any attentive Islander is already familiar. To wit:

Our newly elected Mayor, @ater Nox, has already had a statue erected by an adoring public. His Illustriousness unveiled his likeness before the throngs, and word has it that the celebration yet ensues. Feel free to stop by the Mayor's Mansion to offer your congratulations.

The hallowed halls of academia tolled the bells recently when XKI University elected the talented Flemingisa as its newest Dean. Congratulations, Dean Flem! May you have a long and prestigious career.

In addition to his important new duties as Dean, Flemingisa is also in the running for Senator of Lyonesse West. Some wonder, how does he do all these things? The answer is, of course, superbly. Flem's opponent in this critical contest is the worthy Finswedeway . Citizens of XKI, we here at MA encourage everyone of voting age to go to the polls! It is a duty as well as a privilege.

On the other hand, Siuts is both shocked and dismayed that he is forced to run for Senator of Himes West uncontested! He wants someone to best, and by Jiminy, he's going to get it if he has to shadowbox. Check out the 10000 Islands Election board for contestants' statements and debates. Stay tuned!

There is also the XKI Delegate election to consider. TMI staff were on the scene for the holy contested debate for XKI Delegate between Louisistan and Alkasia . Don't miss your chance to ask the contestants' question. Put those guys on the political hotseat and make them squirm.

Due to extraneous circumstances, Markanite is relinquishing his duties in the Islands. His responsibilities as Registrar General will be adopted by Paffnia ; as Minister of Education, by @united Royal Islands. Markanite, we hope to see you frequently on our shores.

Back to the Delegate Election: Islanders in the know are aware that Dominion of Compassion's term is nearly at an end, and this contest is heated. Our TMS man on the scene at the debates put the question to our candidates: what about the intervention of foreign powers in this election, and the possibility of tampering or meddling in their respective campaigns. Much to the surprise of our reporter, Louisistan stonewalled the question, maintaining his silence at the alleged advice of his attorneys. Alkasia at least had the good grace to respond, suggesting that his opponent seemed altogether likely to allow visiting dignitaries with fat expense accounts to influence his decisions. Rumor has it that his Twitter account is afire with denials, but we have not had the chance to verify that. Here at TMS, wild and unsubstantiated claims are fit to print.

TITO is well known and admired far and wide, both locally and on foreign soil as well. They are proud to announce the latest addition to the ranks of Knight: @tikistan! Bravo! You are an inspiration to newer members, such as our esteemed Editor, who, when he is not surfing, fishing, or frolicking with Island girls, is proud to be a TITO member.


I will be adding new entries to this post throughout the course of the month until the authorities catch up to me and force me to cease and desist. Letters to the Editor are both welcome and encouraged.