by Max Barry

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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 384thMost Secular: 609thMost Influential: 659th
The Commonwealth of
Father Knows Best State
The State is a Magnificent Father
God Emperor Fauci
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Jovian Knights

Population5.895 billion

LeaderGod Emperor Fauci

CurrencyHealth Bar

The Commonwealth of Jovian Knights is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by God Emperor Fauci with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, complete lack of prisons, and public floggings. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.895 billion Jovians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lindas. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Jovian economy, worth a remarkable 1,124 trillion Health Bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 190,814 Health Bars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Government officials across Jovian Knights are being "encouraged" to adopt Taigas to set an example for the populace, space has been brought down to earth with constellations of cancer cases across Jovian Knights, minefields are being deployed along the border to discourage potential emigrants from trying to leave, and God Emperor Fauci panders to nontraditional families. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jovian Knights's national animal is the Taiga, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

Jovian Knights is ranked 203,371st in the world and 8,927th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -593.4 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 384thMost Secular: 609thMost Influential: 659thMost Pacifist: 1,349thSafest: 1,352ndLowest Crime Rates: 1,614thMost Developed: 1,670thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,754thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,824thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,861stTop
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,082ndLargest Welfare Programs: 2,151stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2,194thLargest Governments: 2,274thBest Weather: 2,385thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,420thMost Beautiful Environments: 2,425thMost Advanced Public Transport: 2,454thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,603rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,706thSmartest Citizens: 3,142ndHealthiest Citizens: 3,261stHighest Poor Incomes: 3,281stMost Inclusive: 3,340thMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,412thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,662ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,927thMost Compassionate Citizens: 4,398thNicest Citizens: 5,137thMost Subsidized Industry: 5,490thMost Efficient Economies: 6,537thHighest Average Incomes: 7,117thLargest Publishing Industry: 9,632ndTop
Highest Economic Output: 14,930thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 17,672ndMost Cultured: 19,648th
Most Secular: 26th in the regionSafest: 79th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 80th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 81st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 86th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 88th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 88th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 89th in the regionMost Pacifist: 91st in the regionTop
Most Developed: 101st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 104th in the regionLargest Governments: 111th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 116th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 128th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 132nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 142nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 147th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 155th in the regionBest Weather: 157th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 170th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 191st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 193rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 218th in the regionMost Influential: 229th in the regionMost Inclusive: 232nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 234th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 274th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 288th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 301st in the regionNicest Citizens: 307th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 350th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 362nd in the regionTop
Highest Economic Output: 483rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 510th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 708th in the regionLargest Populations: 889th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, God Emperor Fauci panders to nontraditional families.
  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, minefields are being deployed along the border to discourage potential emigrants from trying to leave.
  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, space has been brought down to earth with constellations of cancer cases across Jovian Knights.
  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, government officials across Jovian Knights are being "encouraged" to adopt Taigas to set an example for the populace.
  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, military officials are questioning the policy of ceding the nation's territory in exchange for promises not to invade it.
  • : Jovian Knights voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Integrity in Law Enforcement".
  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, the nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news.
  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, marijuana is legal in the privacy of your own home.
  • : Jovian Knights endorsed The Principality of Ofira.
  • : Jovian Knights endorsed The Empire of Picairn.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 300 » Runeda, Yaorozu, The Rhein States, Loutsland, Kasazzastan, Pazair, Clan Spaniel, McMasterdonia, Great Bights Mum, United Kahndaq, Koda-Land, Guer Aike, Notyoutopia, Zyvetskistaahn, Territorio di Nessuno, Vincone Cae, Corfad, Pallaith, Dabarastan, PlanetPunk, Dreadton, Sunto, Ethnon, North Bratislava, Dar es Saalam, Seenvorland, Selfgradatude, Kranostav, Xentherida, Trillius, Sundred, Viridiann, Shibutani, Orado, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Zumlandia, Frances Francis the First of France, Steampunk Ariel, Glurponia, Wisconsota, Wineclaw, Ravendi, 1 very fast endotarter, Shadowrik, Daiz, Newpromisedland, Holy Oranz, Omnistria, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Siwale, and 250 others.The Tampa Bay Rays, New Octicarg, Interdimensional Zone, Aetulia, New Lakemba, Detrivania, Valhalla123, North Novkia, Olofin, Sil Dorsett, Bearical, Quentiam Viventem, Kappacon, Unsophisticate, Leonfire, Empy, Moose repupblic, Pleroma Sans Romans, Karazan, The English Alliance, Abject Ludicrosity, El Fiji Grande, Partax, Anungu, Tachycardia, Velon, Gnomewatchers, The Navy Blue, The Iron Lions, Misthas, Serendipita Martia, Valentine Z, Terban Kedah, Freyford, Montarc, Fendlium, Praeceps, Zecit, Malta Comino Gozo, Volstokn, Loli County, Cobleck Weleis, Austral States of America, Avemterra, Napnomadia, The Real Ram Ranch, Cloydicia, Wilkshire, Hamerica, Free Culture, PotatoFarmers, Merconitonitopia, Moubarakistan, Kelvaros Prime, Xagill, Noahs Second Country, Universal State Formula, Woodsend, The New Communist Republic Of States, Yokciq Empire, Wit Noreis, The Stratosphere Islands, MiaryBhalzhack, The Endless Eventide, Votak Matim, Clan Barrnary, Eschatosia, Chukstik Illahi, Central Ryal, Cors Evia, KhalChicken, Cape Flower, Ataraxia Somnia, Spades Atlantic, Amblegreserland, SherpDaWerp in TNP, Ihese, Crader, Godwanna, The Windmilluminati, New Avian, Diodone, Prevaland, Plangainer, SORT, Antiyard, Avastate, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Aeolist, Varola, Nistriabar, Tunofferia, Unshleepd, Irishvan, Kadarra, Westinor, Solskjar, Hyphen, Xyrron, Schnuftelland, Fel Imass, Greater New America, Abiswashyo-bhumi, Alyrria, Wooleystan, Maott, U S Eh, The Pantheons, East Akra, Korovan Isles, The Most Freedom Ever, Fizban, Joodey, Zeternia, Khoik, Astronomical, Solimun, Prydania, Zemnaya Svoboda, The Serdey Islands, Fauzjhia, Mesopotama, Greater Pittsburgh, Frostcell, Sikol, Saperisole, Zzozona, I Like Killing people, Former English Colony, Libertania Democratica, Termathe, Shinjuku tokyo 0, Guepo, The Calabash Protectorate, Kocherian, The Democratic Kingdom Of Skaraborg, Sevinland, Czechnin, Montinario, Rainengrad, Asoc lon, Yalgora, Mystiquelle, Aoncarpa, Mimia, Ihsan, Seanat, The Canadian Peoples Republic, Brucklania, Hopsin, Blackphir, Innocentic, Nationeer, Secularus, Nordic-British Union, Arichia, Potatolandium, Protonfield, Solcius, Sattelbach, Manticore utopia, Immenium, Sakarna, Rad Lads, Centromuria, Dangine, Lux Conos, Kahlo, Bend Mai, Cabaifer, Caselpania, Daxuxian, Teg, Ilmatil, DIMAnism, Yellops, Eywaan, Solmetria, Principia Mathematica, Ausnakulia, Peronia Austral, Ereena, Ver Testua, Canibull, Nouvelle-Floride, Azzarel, Damsmel, Smesh, Highton Islands, New Jamgra, Cretox State, Eurochina, Cartero, Aprenencia, A Ordem do Caos, Unimaginable Doom, Fracie, Maclare, East Natomes, Fascist Democracy, Simone Republic, Revolutionary Sealand, Phoronu, Gin Tonic, Madjack, Labora, Xipher, Kragsgale, Pokemanland, Buckhem, Astal Aavors, Amerian States, Illusia and Neverendia, Andexia, Sisang, Great Vritania, Neu-Galicia, WeKnow, Daulatpur, Heilhum Imperius, Democratic Republic of Kohland, Free Nation of Hong Kong, Orogonia, Basedania, Harjad, Therizia, Frahnkzaden, Cartures, Aerilia, Changjo, Cosmosplosion, Morover, Visse, Lulubellia, Amprak, Glanst, Necromonia, Comfed, Elvoreto, Outer Shenendoah, The Kingdom Of Wagies, Chips and Guac, Liminyj, Magna Banitia, Navsland, Snottelling, Rozarus, Hardscrabble, Picairn, and Ofira.

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