by Max Barry

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Largest Welfare Programs: 2,023rdMost Inclusive: 2,841stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,937th
The United Socialist States of
Iron Fist Socialists
Justice For The Proletariat!
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
Superb
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Kalahana

Population6.145 billion

CapitalKúlan
FaithAgnosticism

CurrencyKahui
AnimalSalamander

The United Socialist States of Kalahana is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its ban on automobiles, state-planned economy, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 6.145 billion Kalahanians are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kúlan. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Kalahanan economy, worth 716 trillion Kahuis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 116,546 Kahuis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience, political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from Leader's throne, extraordinary tribunals try accused financial criminals, and atheistic refugees haven't got a prayer of being granted asylum. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kalahana's national animal is the Salamander, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

Kalahana is ranked 170,653rd in the world and 655th in The Communist Bloc for Most Stationary, with 98.99124220112 days.

Top
1%
Largest Welfare Programs: 2,023rdMost Inclusive: 2,841stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,937thTop
5%
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 3,047thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,258thMost Compassionate Citizens: 3,279thMost Pacifist: 3,395thNicest Citizens: 3,405thBest Weather: 3,510thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3,629thMost Advanced Public Education: 4,305thMost Influential: 4,312thHighest Food Quality: 4,341stLongest Average Lifespans: 4,745thLeast Corrupt Governments: 4,868thMost Beautiful Environments: 5,363rdHealthiest Citizens: 5,365thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,580thMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,116thMost Developed: 7,685thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,838thMost Advanced Public Transport: 7,959thSafest: 9,694thLargest Governments: 9,697thMost Cultured: 10,034thLowest Crime Rates: 11,389thSmartest Citizens: 12,423rdHighest Poor Incomes: 13,938thMost Income Equality: 14,638thMost Secular: 14,825thTop
10%
Largest Publishing Industry: 18,155thMost Scientifically Advanced: 25,664th
Top
5%
Largest Welfare Programs: 61st in the regionTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 77th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 80th in the regionBest Weather: 80th in the regionMost Inclusive: 93rd in the regionHighest Food Quality: 103rd in the regionMost Pacifist: 104th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 106th in the regionNicest Citizens: 116th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 117th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 118th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 120th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 120th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 128th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Kalahana was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Income Equality.
  • : Following new legislation in Kalahana, atheistic refugees haven't got a prayer of being granted asylum.
  • : Following new legislation in Kalahana, extraordinary tribunals try accused financial criminals.
  • : Following new legislation in Kalahana, political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from Leader's throne.
  • : Following new legislation in Kalahana, funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience.
  • : Kalahana was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Workforce Participation Rate.
  • : Kalahana was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Secular.
  • : Following new legislation in Kalahana, would-be emigrants are told "abandon all hope all ye who would exit here".
  • : Following new legislation in Kalahana, children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life.
  • : Kalahana was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Inclusive.

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