The Galactic Empire of Kohnhead is a massive, safe nation, ruled by General Sebastian Bohnhead with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, rampant corporate plagiarism, and national health service. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 4.481 billion Kohnheadians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kohnhead City. The average income tax rate is 96.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Kohnheadian economy, worth 647 trillion Kohnheadas a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 144,572 Kohnheadas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Ships no longer sail as no one wants to encounter Kohnheadian pirates, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, facial disfigurement is a leading cause of supervillainy, and personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kohnhead's national animal is the Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kohnheadism.

Kohnhead is ranked 9,643^rd in the world and 116^th in 10000 Islands for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 3,328.95 on the Societal Mobility Rating.