by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,342ndBest Weather: 1,633rdLowest Crime Rates: 1,917th
The Galactic Empire of
Father Knows Best State
We will rock you
General Sebastian Bohnhead
Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Kohnhead

Population4.481 billion

CapitalKohnhead City
LeaderGeneral Sebastian Bohnhead
FaithKohnheadism

CurrencyKohnheada
AnimalPanda

The Galactic Empire of Kohnhead is a massive, safe nation, ruled by General Sebastian Bohnhead with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, rampant corporate plagiarism, and national health service. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 4.481 billion Kohnheadians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kohnhead City. The average income tax rate is 96.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Kohnheadian economy, worth 647 trillion Kohnheadas a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 144,572 Kohnheadas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Ships no longer sail as no one wants to encounter Kohnheadian pirates, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, facial disfigurement is a leading cause of supervillainy, and personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kohnhead's national animal is the Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kohnheadism.

Kohnhead is ranked 9,643rd in the world and 116th in 10000 Islands for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 3,328.95 on the Societal Mobility Rating.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,342ndBest Weather: 1,633rdLowest Crime Rates: 1,917thTop
5%
Safest: 2,794thHealthiest Citizens: 3,037thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,177thLongest Average Lifespans: 3,297thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,582ndLargest Welfare Programs: 4,029thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4,346thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,553rdLargest Governments: 4,771stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,857thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,866thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,902ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,486thNicest Citizens: 6,084thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,363rdMost Pacifist: 6,721stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,112thMost Developed: 8,286thMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,643rdMost Advanced Public Education: 9,800thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 9,883rdMost Corrupt Governments: 9,954thTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 12,589thMost Inclusive: 14,969thHighest Average Incomes: 15,415thSmartest Citizens: 17,866thMost Efficient Economies: 19,044thMost Secular: 19,144thMost Influential: 19,925thHighest Poor Incomes: 23,328thMost Scientifically Advanced: 23,784th
Top
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 17th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 32nd in the regionBest Weather: 38th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 49th in the regionSafest: 51st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 54th in the regionTop
10%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 63rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 64th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 65th in the regionLargest Governments: 68th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 69th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 70th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 73rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 74th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 78th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 84th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 92nd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 99th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 104th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 116th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Kohnhead relocated from The Embassy to 10000 Islands.
  • : Kohnhead relocated from 10000 Islands to The Embassy.
  • : Kohnhead lodged a message on the 10000 Islands Regional Message Board.
  • : Kohnhead published "10000 Islands' Featured Nation 22/2/21 - Porflox" (Bulletin: News).
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, facial disfigurement is a leading cause of supervillainy.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, ships no longer sail as no one wants to encounter Kohnheadian pirates.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, Kohnheadians seem to be catching more chills.
  • : Following new legislation in Kohnhead, Kohnhead recently hosted the least successful trade negotiations since The Phantom Menace.

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