| Population | 24.88 billion |
| Capital | String Theory |
| Leader | Eeriana the Omnipotent |
| Faith | Gospel of Merlin |
| Currency | quark |
| Animal | fire dragon |
The Kingdom of Loop Quantum Gravity is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Eeriana the Omnipotent with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, otherworldly petting zoo, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 24.88 billion Loop Quantum Gravityians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."
The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order and Education also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of String Theory. Income tax is unheard of.
The frighteningly efficient Loop Quantum Gravityian economy, worth an astonishing 10,893 trillion quarks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 437,846 quarks, with the richest citizens earning 9.3 times as much as the poorest.
The government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid, a video of Eeriana the Omnipotent wearing shock-blue face paint and smashing an electric guitar in front of a frenzied crowd is on endless repeat on the nightly news, geosynchronous satellites are now manned by unpaid interns, and the annual budget is heralded by the Treasury Minister donning a fake plastic mustache and giant star-shaped glasses. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Loop Quantum Gravity's national animal is the fire dragon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Gospel of Merlin.
Loop Quantum Gravity is ranked 239,876th in the world and 5,588th in the West Pacific for Best Weather, with -46 Meters Of Sunlight.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in
Loop Quantum Gravity, the annual budget is heralded by the Treasury Minister donning a fake plastic mustache and giant star-shaped glasses.
- : Following new legislation in Loop Quantum Gravity, geosynchronous satellites are now manned by unpaid interns.
- : Following new legislation in Loop Quantum Gravity, a video of Eeriana the Omnipotent wearing shock-blue face paint and smashing an electric guitar in front of a frenzied crowd is on endless repeat on the nightly news.
- : Following new legislation in Loop Quantum Gravity, the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid.
- : Following new legislation in Loop Quantum Gravity, unemployed political consultants and advertisers spend every election night weeping for the good old days.
- : Following new legislation in Loop Quantum Gravity, politicians constantly ring their voters to remind them how good a job they're doing.
- : Following new legislation in Loop Quantum Gravity, returning vacationers often find that their property is now a construction site.
- : Following new legislation in Loop Quantum Gravity, elected officials who disagree with Eeriana the Omnipotent have a lot of accidents.
- : Following new legislation in Loop Quantum Gravity, newlywed misogynists complain about their wives keeping their maiden names.
- : Following new legislation in Loop Quantum Gravity, giant beards and handlebar moustaches are increasingly popular.
