The Potato Pirates of Mal is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its frequent executions, infamous sell-swords, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 15.865 billion Malians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Education, with Industry, Law & Order, and Healthcare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Malo Fantasmagórico. The average income tax rate is 42.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Malian economy, worth a remarkable 1,799 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 113,450 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens need a magnifying glass and color chart to distinguish between nearly identical brand labels, anyone who so much as frowns risks being referred to a mental health unit, Brancalandian is the primary spoken language at most major tech companies, and Tetris has been banned for its graphic violent content. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mal's national animal is the sheep, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Mal is ranked 56,111^th in the world and 68^th in Spiritus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 72.62 law-abiding acts per hour.