The United States of Midlands is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and renowned for its flagrant waste-dumping, otherworldly petting zoo, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 46.66 billion Midlandsians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, although Defense, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Midlandsian economy, worth an astonishing 39,140 trillion sand dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 838,837 sand dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 5,995,536 per year while the poor average 38,394, a ratio of 156 to 1.

Several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation, college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys, nuclear submarines have been deployed to protect the nation's banana supply, and the standard government reply to any query is "there is no spoon". Crime is totally unknown. Midlands's national animal is the bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Midlands is ranked 101^st in the world and 1^st in NationStates for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 45,725.32 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.