The Federal Republic of Northern Seleucia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Joshua Disraeli with an even hand, and renowned for its public floggings, keen interest in outer space, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 8.856 billion Northern Seleucians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Washington. The average income tax rate is 90.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Northern Seleucian economy, worth a remarkable 3,379 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 381,617 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Northern Seleucia as a reminder of their "special relationship", the internal market is thriving, the national colors help to make everyone look slimmer, and the government subsidises medicines of mass destruction. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Northern Seleucia's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Northern Seleucia is ranked 339,417^th in the world and 6^th in Alesia for Most Pacifist, with 2.22 cheeks turned per day.