The Principality of Northie is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Northerner with an iron fist, and renowned for its public floggings, unlimited-speed roads, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 18.118 billion Northies are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of North. The average income tax rate is 93.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Northiean economy, worth a remarkable 4,797 trillion Northerners a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 264,811 Northerners, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Pedants defending Northerner observe that psychopaths and sociopaths aren't exactly the same thing, killer credit ratings take real effort, a large concrete wall is being built around the country's borders, and Northie has been greatly criticised for its isolationist policies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Northie's national animal is the Northman, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Northern Runes.

Northie is ranked 1,323^rd in the world and 54^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 84.48 law-abiding acts per hour.