by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 129thMost Devout: 320thMost Ignorant Citizens: 330th
The Holy Pink Morons of
Iron Fist Consumerists
All Hail The Magic Conch
The Magic Conch
Influence
Squire
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Powerhouse
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

PatrickStar

Population10.624 billion

CapitalShell City
LeaderThe Magic Conch
FaithConchism

CurrencyPatrick
AnimalPatrick

The Holy Pink Morons of PatrickStar is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by The Magic Conch with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, state-planned economy, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.624 billion Patrick are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 96.1%.

The powerhouse Patrick economy, worth a remarkable 2,586 trillion Patricks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 243,412 Patricks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Tie-dye has been outlawed for being 'too occult', royal mothers are increasingly sidelined as news crews strain for interviews and photoshoots with "the hot nanny", foreign converts are illuminated by both missionaries and helicopter searchlights, and the first test of a good kindergartener is the quality of the sponge-baths they give. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Patrick, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Conchism.

PatrickStar is ranked 217,631st in the world and 182nd in Texas for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 9,493.07 Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 129thMost Devout: 320thMost Ignorant Citizens: 330thLargest Black Market: 669thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 848thMost Corrupt Governments: 872ndMost Primitive: 1,053rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,369thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,548thLargest Mining Sector: 1,564thTop
5%
Most Avoided: 2,462ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,566thHighest Average Incomes: 3,735thLowest Crime Rates: 3,775thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,896thHighest Poor Incomes: 4,373rdLargest Governments: 4,648thHighest Economic Output: 5,825thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 6,675thMost Influential: 7,571stMost Subsidized Industry: 8,783rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 9,859thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10,975thMost Advanced Public Transport: 11,925thTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 13,026thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 14,242ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 15,096thMost Conservative: 16,467thMost Authoritarian: 17,052ndMost Advanced Public Education: 17,664th
Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Most Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 3rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 6th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 7th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 8th in the regionMost Avoided: 8th in the regionMost Conservative: 9th in the regionLargest Governments: 9th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Poor Incomes: 10th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 12th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 13th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 14th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 16th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 17th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most World Assembly Endorsements.
  • : PatrickStar was endorsed by The Equatorial Republic of Tishanda.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, the first test of a good kindergartener is the quality of the sponge-baths they give.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, foreign converts are illuminated by both missionaries and helicopter searchlights.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, royal mothers are increasingly sidelined as news crews strain for interviews and photoshoots with "the hot nanny".
  • : PatrickStar was endorsed by The Big Tex Happy Taco Stands of NewTexas.
  • : PatrickStar endorsed The Big Tex Happy Taco Stands of NewTexas.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, tie-dye has been outlawed for being 'too occult'.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, family trees become bare as entire branches are lopped off.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, the dead fish in the national rivers aren't decomposing because even bacteria can't survive the levels of toxicity.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 2 » NewTexas and Tishanda.

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