The Kingdom of PlanetMercury is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Freddie Mercury with an iron fist, and notable for its pith helmet sales, feral children, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 2.374 billion PlanetMercuries are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bulsara. The average income tax rate is 70.0%.

The frighteningly efficient PlanetMercuryian economy, worth 380 trillion pounds a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 160,279 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Rocket scientists spend more time designing slide shows than launching rockets, Freddie Mercury claims tax rises are the result of 'curses', the "swords to plowshares" policy has created a generation of farmers that can kill a yak from 200 yards away, and more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PlanetMercury's national animal is the Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

PlanetMercury is ranked 127,937^th in the world and 5,329^th in The North Pacific for Most Extreme, scoring 16.5 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.