The Church of Slongs is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by The great Dong with an even hand, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, compulsory military service, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, devout population of 5.569 billion Slongsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kongo. The average income tax rate is 66.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Slongsian economy, worth 481 trillion marks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 86,433 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

High-tech infantry rifles automatically reload when the soldier shoots outside the screen of their helmet HUD, the nation's atlases tend to go out of date every few weeks, government reports are now used to teach toddlers to read, and the nation's infamous boot camp is more brutal than most battlefields. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Slongs's national animal is the squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bellringing.

Slongs is ranked 44,071^st in the world and 1,395^th in The East Pacific for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 1,362.1 on the Societal Mobility Rating.