The Church of Slongs is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by The great Dong with an even hand, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, otherworldly petting zoo, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, devout population of 4.374 billion Slongsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kongo. The average income tax rate is 55.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Slongsian economy, worth 400 trillion marks a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 91,458 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Colonial subjects have Slongsian culture shoved down their throats, pregnant hitchhikers with signs requesting rides to "competent care" are a common sight on Slongsian roads, claiming to have performed the Heimlich Maneuver is a popular defense for assault charges, and rural communities are all but disenfranchised as politicians focus all their attention on winning the deciding urban votes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Slongs's national animal is the squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bellringing.

Slongs is ranked 16,634^th in the world and 716^th in The East Pacific for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 5,672.89 on the Hickory Productivity Index.