The RP God n Vizier dubbed Dylan of Staynes is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Lambertus VII with a fair hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, unlimited-speed roads, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 7.51 billion Staynes enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sani Bursil. The average income tax rate is 45.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Staynish economy, worth 934 trillion Kiribs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 124,469 Kiribs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway, inheritance tax has recently been abolished, bus ads propagandize causes ranging from sexual revolution to religious pogroms, and foreign spirits are hard to find due to an abundance of "Cletus and Jim Bob's Homemade Staynish Moonshine". Crime is totally unknown. Staynes's national animal is the Auroran Cheetah, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Thaerism.

Staynes is ranked 45,840^th in the world and 2,225^th in The East Pacific for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 4,032.59 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.