The RP Moderator called Dylan of Staynes is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Lambertus VII with a fair hand, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, smutty television, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 5.783 billion Staynes enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sani Bursil. The average income tax rate is 50.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Staynish economy, worth 623 trillion Kiribs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 107,875 Kiribs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one, the Federal Council of Staynes has been announced as the new Head of State, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, and 'Mountain Doobie' is widely regarded as the nation's favourite drink. Crime is totally unknown. Staynes's national animal is the Sumatran Orangutan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Jubliakese.

Staynes is ranked 89,276^th in the world and 3,139^th in The East Pacific for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 1,125.93 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.