by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 79thLargest Black Market: 162ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 349th
The Army of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Death waits in the dark
Influence
Negotiator
Councillor
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Stretchington

Population22.16 billion

CapitalBeaverton
LeaderGeneral Stretch
FaithThe Cult of Stretch

CurrencyDollar
Animalblackhawk

The Army of Stretchington is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by General Stretch with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 22.16 billion Stretchingtonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order and Education are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beaverton. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Stretchingtonian economy, worth an astonishing 10,305 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 465,052 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Wrongful arrests abound as 'criminals' blame the guy next to them, panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet, quiet professionalism has returned to the nation's armed forces, and blasphemers and government critics often die in very unusual and unlikely accidents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Stretchington's national animal is the blackhawk, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Cult of Stretch.

Stretchington is ranked 12,572nd in the world and 3rd in The LCRUA for Most Stationary, with 1,991.63387813128 days.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 79thLargest Black Market: 162ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 349thMost Corrupt Governments: 377thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 381stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 490thMost Devout: 520thMost Advanced Public Transport: 524thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 539thMost Patriotic: 608thHighest Average Incomes: 613thHighest Poor Incomes: 622ndLowest Crime Rates: 692ndHighest Economic Output: 766thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 831stHighest Average Tax Rates: 911thLargest Governments: 929thLargest Mining Sector: 1,462ndMost Subsidized Industry: 1,814thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,724thTop
5%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,803rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4,722ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,984thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5,196thMost Efficient Economies: 5,264thLargest Welfare Programs: 5,947thHealthiest Citizens: 6,108thLargest Information Technology Sector: 7,426thMost Conservative: 7,461stMost Authoritarian: 8,618thMost Influential: 11,051stMost Valuable International Artwork: 12,250thLargest Agricultural Sector: 12,427thMost Stationary: 12,572ndLargest Populations: 12,915thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 13,166thTop
10%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 15,330thSmartest Citizens: 16,303rdLargest Insurance Industry: 23,288thMost Developed: 24,830th
Top
10%
Most Devout: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Stretchington, blasphemers and government critics often die in very unusual and unlikely accidents.
  • : Following new legislation in Stretchington, quiet professionalism has returned to the nation's armed forces.
  • : Following new legislation in Stretchington, panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet.
  • : Following new legislation in Stretchington, wrongful arrests abound as 'criminals' blame the guy next to them.
  • : Following new legislation in Stretchington, government bureaucrats shut down teenage yard-raking businesses for being counter-revolutionary.
  • : Stretchington was reclassified from "Iron Fist Consumerists" to "Psychotic Dictatorship".
  • : Following new legislation in Stretchington, gene-engineered sewerjacks don't smell but they do stink.
  • : Following new legislation in Stretchington, if foreigners can hit a spittoon from five paces they get a free holiday to Stretchington.
  • : Following new legislation in Stretchington, scientists are researching the best way to kill off humanity to prevent catastrophic war.
  • : Following new legislation in Stretchington, Dogman-branded weapons are all the rage in the militaristic comic-book community.

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