The Individually Wrapped Straws of Succistans is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by dog I found on the street with an iron fist, and notable for its smutty television, national health service, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.026 billion Succistansians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bloxford. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 23.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Succistansian economy, worth 941 trillion Jenga Blocks a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 134,048 Jenga Blocks, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 706,127 per year while the poor average 13,560, a ratio of 52.1 to 1.

Small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome, citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages, the libraries of Succistans are staffed by lone, lonely librarians, and international trade can be a pain to deal with. Crime is pervasive. Succistans's national animal is the Bull Terrier, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Roblox Orthodox.

Succistans is ranked 10,206^th in the world and 8^th in TopCornion for Largest Retail Industry, scoring 11,174.92 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.