The Queen's State of Swakopmundi is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 31.24 billion Swakopmundians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.8%.

The very strong Swakopmundian economy, worth a remarkable 1,186 trillion betales a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is quite specialized and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Gambling, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 37,972 betales, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 258,163 per year while the poor average 2,040, a ratio of 126 to 1.

The alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked, citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature', and the military frequently holds bake sales to raise funds. Crime is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Swakopmundi's national animal is the deer, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Swakopmundi is ranked 288,741^st in the world and 7^th in Swaziland for Lowest Crime Rates, with 34.41 law-abiding acts per hour.