by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Public Transport: 237thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 316thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 403rd
The Holy Dictatorship of
Corrupt Dictatorship
The Nation, The Myth, The Legend
Influence
Superpower
Governor
Region
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Cheese Land

Population39.56 billion

CapitalEmental
LeaderAppenzeller
FaithCurding

CurrencyBaby Bell
AnimalCow

The Holy Dictatorship of The Cheese Land is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Appenzeller with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 39.56 billion Cheese Landians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Emental. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Cheese Landian economy, worth a remarkable 8,633 trillion Baby Bells a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 218,250 Baby Bells, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Posh restaurants scatter glass fragments on the dining room floor to keep out barefoot undesirables, a newly discovered small mammal's name translates into Cheese Landian as 'your finger, you fool', virtually all of the country's economic activity takes place in Emental, and counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Cheese Land's national animal is the Cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Curding.

The Cheese Land is ranked 10,276th in the world and 2nd in Funuzzle for Most Stationary, with 2,321.59363223468 days.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 237thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 316thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 403rdSafest: 455thLargest Welfare Programs: 472ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 656thLowest Crime Rates: 682ndLargest Governments: 901stHighest Economic Output: 1,172ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,175thMost Developed: 1,192ndLongest Average Lifespans: 1,302ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,308thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,335thHealthiest Citizens: 1,471stLargest Populations: 1,512thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,744thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,925thMost Beautiful Environments: 2,144thBest Weather: 2,687thTop
5%
Smartest Citizens: 3,356thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,903rdHighest Food Quality: 4,230thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,731stMost Cultured: 5,083rdMost Inclusive: 5,820thMost Compassionate Citizens: 5,897thMost Influential: 6,609thMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,884thMost Patriotic: 7,568thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 7,698thHighest Average Incomes: 7,885thMost Scientifically Advanced: 9,874thMost Stationary: 10,276thLargest Publishing Industry: 12,196thMost Efficient Economies: 12,215thMost Pacifist: 13,398thTop
10%
Nicest Citizens: 14,981stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 16,494thLargest Information Technology Sector: 24,546th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Cheese Land, counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients.
  • : Following new legislation in The Cheese Land, virtually all of the country's economic activity takes place in Emental.
  • : The Cheese Land was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Corrupt Governments.
  • : The Cheese Land was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Corrupt Governments and Most Authoritarian.
  • : Following new legislation in The Cheese Land, a newly discovered small mammal's name translates into Cheese Landian as 'your finger, you fool'.
  • : Following new legislation in The Cheese Land, posh restaurants scatter glass fragments on the dining room floor to keep out barefoot undesirables.
  • : Following new legislation in The Cheese Land, ignorance is considered a politically desirable quality.
  • : Following new legislation in The Cheese Land, rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements.
  • : Following new legislation in The Cheese Land, it is illegal to make racist remarks in public.
  • : Following new legislation in The Cheese Land, national chefs believe that you can eat anything so long as you deep fry it first.

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