by Max Barry

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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,085th Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 5,510th Most Advanced Defense Forces: 6,855th
The People's Republic of
Iron Fist Consumerists
I've seen footage, I stay noided.
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Real Ram Ranch

Population211 million


The People's Republic of The Real Ram Ranch is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, unlimited-speed roads, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 211 million Mistakes are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid receives no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 67.6%.

The powerhouse Real Ram Ranchian economy, worth 21.5 trillion beatings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 101,988 beatings, with the richest citizens earning 6.2 times as much as the poorest.

Glamping Mistakes won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi, bars are packed at all hours, the military perceives nations hit by natural disasters as "easy pickings", and prisoners work-share to cut down rising costs of keeping them in jail. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Real Ram Ranch's national animal is the Tuberculosis, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

The Real Ram Ranch is ranked 19,787th in the world and 876th in The North Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 98.6 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,085thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5,510thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,855thMost Avoided: 7,242ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,527thTop
Most Influential: 8,592ndMost Corrupt Governments: 9,026thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,595thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 12,568thFattest Citizens: 13,498thMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,012th
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 174th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 237th in the regionMost Avoided: 242nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 313th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 340th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 354th in the regionTop
Fattest Citizens: 480th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 557th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 560th in the regionLargest Black Market: 647th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 655th in the region

National Happenings

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