The Potato-Poet of The Salaxalans is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Svlad Cjelli with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, avant-garde cinema, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 17.339 billion Salaxians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The enormous government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Social Policy, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rime. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Salaxalansian economy, worth a remarkable 4,161 trillion Dirks a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 240,032 Dirks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A rolling news ticker tape of disclaimers runs across the bottom of the screen on all TV shows, increasing numbers of children in The Salaxalans have different eye and hair color to their supposed fathers, holiday light displays just aren't the same without seizure-inducing strobe effects, and the government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments. Crime is totally unknown. The Salaxalans's national animal is the Electric Monk, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Chronology.

The Salaxalans is ranked 156,195^th in the world and 223^rd in Spiritus for Most Authoritarian, with 465.18 milliStalins.