The Free Land of The Tugboat Complex is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by a shogun named Marcus with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, aversion to nipples, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 18.294 billion Coffee Drinkers are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Awnstilts. The average income tax rate is 92.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient a Coffee Drinker economy, worth a remarkable 1,769 trillion bitcoins a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 96,722 bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Toy versions of heroin paraphernalia let kids pretend to be their favourite TV characters, vital intelligence-gathering activities are often put on hold for Call of Honor tournaments, a Coffee Drinker companies generally just fire employees in lieu of giving them vacation, and preschools put children down for naps with milk, cookies, and a gruesome story of vengeance. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Tugboat Complex's national animal is the Danky Kang, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Tugboat Complex is ranked 22,569^th in the world and 5^th in 0000 for Lowest Crime Rates, with 87.71 law-abiding acts per hour.