The Dream of Toney River is a gargantuan, cultured nation, notable for its anti-smoking policies, keen interest in outer space, and daily referendums. The compassionate, democratic, humorless population of 31.065 billion Toney River-rats are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sunrise. The average income tax rate is 99.2%.

The Toney Riverian economy, worth a remarkable 5,505 trillion library books a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 177,212 library books, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Every new building project has to undergo a five-year environmental impact study before it can go ahead, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal, immigrants who carry knives on them are presumed to be chefs, and the beauty of coastal towns is marred only slightly by all the closed-down storefronts. Crime is totally unknown. Toney River's national animal is the urban fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Toney River is ranked 207,823^rd in the world and 24^th in The Maritimes for Most Primitive, scoring -126.52 on the Scary Big Number Scale.