by Max Barry

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Highest Average Incomes: 3rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rdLowest Crime Rates: 4th
The Military Dictatorship of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Ignorance is Bliss
Influence
Duckspeaker
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Tzuland

Population17.665 billion

CapitalFort Tzuland
LeaderGeneral Tzu
FaithTzuism

CurrencyGold
AnimalGolden Pig

The Military Dictatorship of Tzuland is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by General Tzu with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, avowedly heterosexual populace, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 17.665 billion Tzulandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fort Tzuland. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tzulandian economy, worth an astonishing 19,871 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,124,882 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign governments regularly accuse the Tzulandian military of war crimes, the government is a law unto itself, international collectors know that a grease-stain on a work of art probably means it's passed through Tzuland, and the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tzuland's national animal is the Golden Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Tzuism.

Tzuland is ranked 26th in the world and 1st in Yggdrasil for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 43,868.17 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

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Highest Average Incomes: 3rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rdLowest Crime Rates: 4thHighest Poor Incomes: 5thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7thMost Subsidized Industry: 11thMost Scientifically Advanced: 11thLargest Black Market: 14thMost Efficient Economies: 15thLargest Governments: 17thMost Corrupt Governments: 18thLargest Mining Sector: 19thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 25thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 25thLargest Insurance Industry: 26thLargest Information Technology Sector: 27thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 35thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 46thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 54thHighest Economic Output: 74thHighest Average Tax Rates: 104thMost Avoided: 153rdLargest Retail Industry: 157thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 163rdMost Secular: 171stLargest Agricultural Sector: 207thSafest: 222ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 337thSmartest Citizens: 390thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 526thMost Developed: 617thMost Advanced Public Education: 668thMost Advanced Public Transport: 670thLongest Average Lifespans: 714thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 753rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 791stLargest Gambling Industry: 912thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,044thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,071stMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,172ndRudest Citizens: 1,477thMost Influential: 1,795thTop
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Fattest Citizens: 2,916thLargest Populations: 8,453rdTop
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Most Conservative: 10,548thMost Authoritarian: 13,040thMost Stationary: 14,800thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 19,882nd
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Highest Economic Output: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionTop
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Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionSafest: 3rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6th in the regionMost Conservative: 6th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6th in the regionTop
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Rudest Citizens: 8th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 9th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 10th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 10th in the regionFattest Citizens: 12th in the regionMost Developed: 13th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 13th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks".
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, international collectors know that a grease-stain on a work of art probably means it's passed through Tzuland.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, the government is a law unto itself.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, foreign governments regularly accuse the Tzulandian military of war crimes.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, preschoolers practice disarming active shooters before naptime.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, every street in the nation contains at least three law firms.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, confused-looking pigeons slide gently off frictionless window ledges.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, bands of paramedics walk the streets looking for suspicious medical activity.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, Maxtopians are both starving and giddy after the Tzulandian military unleashed its biological weapons.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, foreign envoys that want to visit Tzuland now have to navigate real minefields in addition to the political ones.

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